Realtors – Understand 10 ways your sellers unconsciously sabotage the speedy SALE of their home
(plus mess with your income & reputation)
92% of people are guilty of number 1, but NO-ONE talks about it and I am here to change that!
Dear Realtors – you have my deepest sympathy!
Selling all your client’s homes -Yuck or Yah? Or a bit of both? Everyone knows that selling a home elicits dread, anxiety and heightened stress for the seller and the buyer. But what about you and your pivotal role? Don’t your client’s drive you nuts sometimes, or the current market place and trends that seem top make everything that much tougher for you to get the deals through?
If you are taking the time to read this, then I understand and respect that….
- You have been in the business for a long time
- Are brilliant at what you do
- Always super duper professional
- Engaging, generous with your time and go the extra mile
- Passionate about people, families and homes
- Have a great eye for what works and doesn’t……
… and yet still you feel like you are wading through sludgy mud. You are fast having to adjust to ever-changing market trends and the fact that more and more sellers believe they can handle the transactions on their own (yeah right!).
Everyone is trying to undercut your commission and you probably aren’t having as much fun in this industry anymore? You even think about getting out and doing something less “uphill” or stressful pretty soon. But, you also just LOVE this industry and it runs in your blood. And ….sometimes your blood boils when your sellers just won’t listen darn it, refuse to heed your advice or uphold their end of the bargain to get ready for show day or viewings of their property. Aaargh!!!
There is only so much responsibility you can take – the rest is up to them, isn’t it? On top of the painful sales and lodging of documents process, you also know all the other stressful stuff your clients dread in anticipation – which often means you are not their favorite person in the transaction.
It’s easy for them to mutter about when you want to view the house, or canceling viewings at the last minute when their child is sick, or another emergency arises. Or they complain about your commission, the photos aren’t right or you aren’t bringing enough people through to view. It’s always YOUR fault isn’t it?
So how do you find a way to approach this all with a new edge?
To stand out in the sea of sameness in the industry?
To be the REALTOR to offer something totally different with a uniquely compassionate angle?
A way for you to honestly help your clients help themselves and get on board?
(P.S. HOME-OWNERS – If you are a homeowner about to sell and reading this, then you would be better off reading THIS ARTICLE WRITTEN JUST FOR YOU)
For them to ultimately get what they want with more ease and grace?
To enjoy a smoother viewing process, offers to purchase and ultimately the speedier sale of their home?
To offer them a way to handle and process all the stress of the sale and move in their hearts and lives?
A way for you all to feel invigorated about the process of selling and moving again?
I’m Kate Emmerson, the Quick Shift Deva, and I am hell-bent on supporting realtors and home sellers in today’s stressful times. Helping realtors to shift your vooma back into showcasing and selling homes and doing what you love, and letting me help you handle your clients and their hearts, minds and homes.
To help you offer your clients a unique way that has never been spoken about until now – one in which they willingly step up and take more responsibility for getting 100% ready to sell.
That’s my forte- speaking directly through you, to your seller. Coaching, cajoling, nudging and providing practical solutions to shift the sale of their home with grace, speed and ease. Helping them process the angst, stress, to de-clutter, pre- pack, handle inevitable show days/viewings, and ultimately being fully ready to make this move.
So whether your sellers are moving because it’s aspirational and they really want to, or because they somehow feel forced to, they still have a way of embracing the process. To feel way less stressed, more in control, at peace and actually excited about uprooting life, heart and home when selling this time around. To be able to embrace this dreaded process with a lightness of expectation of what’s unfolding.
This is such a potentially powerful and pivotal time in their lives– one that is usually their worst nightmare that fills them with angst and stress. Yet, it can be done with grace, ease and speed through the transition.
Can you imagine shifting the status quo and being able to say how much you LOVE dealing with your clients again?
How you feel more connected to them yet not taken for granted?
How you have discovered a way to make the selling process effortless and life-changing for them?
As an expert in letting go and moving on, I’ve spent 16 years researching home-owners and working in their homes, understanding what keeps them deeply stuck at the internal, psychological level. Holding on for dear life, not budging on ideas or price. When your client feels truly ready to move on, from the inside out, that particular home will sell with lightning speed. And I promise you that my process is down to earth, practical and simple to implement. Clients refer to my style as compassion with a kick!
You know you want me on your team!
I challenge you to have an open mind as you keep reading…
For most home sellers, the notion of getting their home ready to firstly invite you, the realtor, and then let total strangers trudge unceremoniously through their space, opening all the cupboards (oh yes, you know this is true!), deciding if this space suits their taste and budget can elicit feelings of terror and panic, even in the most resilient of folk. There’s always a heady mixture of emotions contemplating selling a home, aren’t there? It’s debilitating and overwhelming. Life is already busy and stressful enough, and this is just a huge added burden on their plate and they hold you responsible for it going smoothly. After all, what are they paying you for?
All sorts of things come into play for them.
How will they pack up everything?
Do they even want to use you, as their realtor if they don’t “have” to?
Are they making the right decision and do they have clarity about what they want?
Who do they trust to move their worldly possessions?
Will doggie Rufus adjust to the new house?
Will grandpa be ok in the new home?
How will they ever get their home show-day ready with all their current obligations?
Gasp – what about that hideous overflowing garage and shed they never got around to clearing out. It’s downright embarrassing and now they are thinking of having you walk through their space!
Will they ever find a beautiful new space that feels like home again?
Will their worldly possessions ever fit into that new space?
While it’s true they have to dig deep to face the above, and most people hate it, what if there is something far more critical that is the real sabotage to them selling their home? It all starts with what’s going on inside, and you can be the one to introduce them to this novel idea.
If you are reading this article and wondering how your clients might be sabotaging the sale of their home, chances are they are in one of a few places right now!
Where do you find your CLIENTS fit right now?
A. Life is changing rapidly, and they are just contemplating selling their home. This would be a very exciting and aspirational move to upsize, downsize or life-size. But right now they might be unsure which route to take along with a mixture of dread and excitement. You might not even be on their radar yet!
B. They are unfortunately being ‘forced to sell’ their home (perhaps due to economic, death, health, divorce or relocating), and are both resisting and dreading everything about life right now it. It’s all too much to handle, it really shouldn’t be happening, they are in shock, and now they have to wrench themselves from their safe safe nest. It couldn’t get any worse. They might view all realtors as another vulture trying to take advantage of them….. or you could be really clever and position yourself as someone who truly understands and can support this awful time in their lives!
C. Their home is just not selling and has spent way too many DOM’s (Days on Market), but they really need this property to sell fast. Enough already! There have just been far too many people trudging through the doors, they are sick ‘n tired of you and no real offers to purchase are materializing. They are losing hope of ever selling, blame you as their realtor, feel frustrated, trapped, and can’t move forward. Horrible all round!
My guess is that you are a Realtor wanting to up your professional game and find unique ways to support your clients to sell faster and with more ease. You are interested in unique ways to help you do your job better – you’re brilliant at what you do, but know something is missing that’s outside your scope of expertise.
You’re confused why a perfect property is somehow not shifting on the market, or you know your client needs help to get a grip on making peace with their life, moving on and handling emotional and physical clutter. You are exhausted from everything being an uphill battle with your sellers and need a business boost.
Here are Kate’s 10 ways your clients are unconsciously self-sabotaging the speedy SALE of their home!
PART 1: LOOSEN THE EMOTIONAL GRIP
- SAY ‘GOODBYE’ EARLY ON
In my experience, over 92% of sellers fall into this trap, and it’s the first way they will sabotage the sale! It’s also the one no-one else out there talks about because it is considered too fluffy, too soft, too naff. But it will affect the speed, ease, and ultimately the financial aspect of the sale. This is the single most significant factor that your client is 100% in control of and the one to take the most seriously. They have to be ready in their heart and entirely at peace to welcome this move BEFORE you put the “For Sale” up! Take control early on and help them emotionally “detach” from the home and say goodbye to this era of their life with mindful intent. Emotional closure right upfront will bring acceptance and significantly reduce stress.
- Most sellers wait till move day to get the emotions in check and wonder why it’s so unbearably stressful. This psychological, emotional, and mental shift is how Kate supports her clients (with life-changing practical exercises) at this pivotal time to ensure they do not sabotage the potential sale. They are energetically and emotionally embedded into every brick in their homes and they have to loosen this grip before they can move on. Homeowners don’t usually wonder about how their “energy” is embedded into every brick and mortar of their home. This is where they realized the dream of owning this home, perhaps had their first child, started a business, danced around the kitchen table after signing the big corporate deal, made love to their partner, and watched little Jamie take his first steps. It might also be a space signifying struggle, heartache and pain – and now they have to say goodbye. It’s all very complicated at a heart level and most folks don’t know how to approach this time and process. Kate shifts that in a jiffy.
- PLEASE STOP CALLING IT ‘HOME’
Too many sellers sabotage the process and hold on with double doses of superglue! They intensify emotional attachment, heartache and stress, by continually referring to this space as ‘home.’Yes, of course, it has been their home, and you feel like you are honoring them by speaking kindly about their “home”, but one of the pivotal shifts to make is to help them consider from this moment onwards, that they are a custodian of this space and start thinking of the home as a house. The challenge is that from now on, every time you all speak about it or think about it (after you have done the emotional closure that Kate’s teaches), is to always use the term HOUSE instead of home! Better yet, think of it as a guesthouse always ready to welcome new guests. Keep the term home for the potential BUYER. You can catch Kate live on the radio sharing her passionate house selling tips to Shado Twala on SAFM
- HELP THEM CATCH A WAKE-UP ABOUT WHAT’S LURKING
Most sellers do a little tidy up around the house, thinking they will clear out properly when finally packing the boxes and move. Beep! Remind them that buyers will open cupboards, and more importantly, they will get a “feel” of the house. If it feels stuffy, cluttered and overfull, buyers will feel stifled in the space even if it is seemingly the perfect house for them on paper and budget-wise. The moment your client decides to sell, please get them stuck into de-cluttering every single inch of the space. They need to, as I like to refer to it, Zap Your Kr@p – Not only will it make the house appear more spacious and light for the buyer, but means they will also not lug any “stuff” that no longer serves them into the next phase of life. A house move is an ideal time to purge at every level. Let go and live a little lighter, taking only that which you love, use and respect into your new home. If THE SELLER fills up too much of the house, there is no room for THE BUYER to breathe new life into this space. Tone down that bright cerise wall, get rid of 75% of the objects d’art and remove the 30 family photographs stuck on the wall! Buyers need to be able to envisage THEMSELVES living in this space.
GRAB PART 2 (WITH HEAPS MORE TIPS AND IDEAS) OF THE ARTICLE ON THE NEXT PAGE BY CLICKING HERE, OR BETTER YET, JUST CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW TO DOWNLOAD THE ENTIRE E-BOOK AT ZERO COST
Fancy a laugh at my expense again? Not as much running and mad-dashing through airports this time…. more like simply too much horizontal time….
I know the power of ritual and ingrained habits. As a coach, it has been one of the cornerstones of my business and of course my own personal practice. One of my habits/rituals that serves me super-well is that of my morning ritual during the week. So the only way I know how to do it, is that the instant my morning alarm goes off on the phone, I fumble for the screen to switch it off and I hit the floor – I am upright before I can blink and I don’t even allow myself the luxury to think about it because in that split nano-second of pondering it – well suffice it to say, I’m totally screwed.
So at 5.15 am this morning, said alarm squeaks and beeps……and I dare, for some stupid reason, to think. Not “Daring Greatly” as Brene Brown suggests, or daring to lie back for a cuddle; just daring to stop and think. It’s called negotiating with the alarm, and I have always found it both futile and daft!
But for a stupid moment this morning, I imagine that maybe I can have just five more sweet, little minutes. 300 seconds! But I never have a backup alarm because I don’t need it, do I? DO I??
Truth is, to put it in context, I had been up in the middle of the night not able to fall back asleep, so I just got up and was drinking tea and working. For about 2 hours in the dead of night, I was reading all about Northern Spain and the Camino, contemplating all the wonderful walks and hikes in the Asturias for our retreat in October…so I was ”justifiably” tired when it squeaked at that ungodly hour.
It beeps at that hour because I haul my butt to Yoga – and YES, you guessed it, because I am also an early-morning-exercise-ritual-person. But the Gods were beaming down on me because a few minutes later, a much louder alarm yelled at me and then I did my usual LEAP. I looked at my phone, it was now 5.32, and I KNEW that I could still make it to yoga. Dash to pee/teeth/dress, and as I grab the keys I cannot find my red-rimmed glasses – oh well, sunglasses it is! At 5.36 in the morning on a cloudy drab day. COOL!
I hurtle to the car and feel decidedly BREEZY – only to look down and realize I am only wearing my little bra-let / tank top and no vest layered on top. Now yes, I MAY practice Bikram/ Hot Yoga, but I am not one of those scantily clad “bear-my-middle” yogibears. Damn – I dash back in to grab my vest, thinking I MUST remember to put it on at the studio. I have never had the horror of staring back at my midriff in the HUUUUGE mirrors.
Ok, let’s GO! I speed reverse and hit first gear. I did think, “wow it’s quite light this morning”, (even with clouds and my sunglasses) and then as I get onto the flat part of the road before I join Conrad Drive, I see about 20 cars ahead of me…..huh?
This is more like morning traffic that I NEVER venture into, reserved for the poor souls who have to commute out of our neighborhood. This is more like 6.45 am traffic – WTF??? My drive time to yoga is pretty carefully calculated, but this has put a spanner in my Downward Dog Dammit. No inner calm for me as I stare at the cars in front of me, bewildered!
I flip on the radio, wait for the dial to show and realize with horror, I am going to have to really hurry now as it is already 5.45 am. Hang on, HANG ON ….waken the brain… it’s 6.45 am!!!! SIX FORTY FIVE AM. Aaaaargh. And class, by now, is about to hit the floor after the standing series, and will soon be humming internally in Savasana. You know, the Dead Corpse Pose you revel in at the END of class. When you have BEEN to class.
All I can do is burst out laughing, knowing that Jay will just wag his tail with glee at seeing me so soon, and I will have time to grab some coffee before we hit the load shedding schedule for today.
This butt will sadly not get to do Tree, Camel, Dancer’s Pose, Tortoise or anything else remotely yoga-like today.
Oh…. if only I had realized it was not my alarm. I hadn’t quite computed that I had fallen back into a deep, delicious, dribbling sleep for another hour, only to be jolted out of it by my Argentino Valentino’s alarm. I should have just continued practicing Dead Corpse Pose all along.
So I try again tomorrow – oh no wait, it’s the weekend, where alarms are not welcome. Except that I am going Hot Air Ballooning for the first time, courtesy Argentino Valentino. So at 4.00 SHARP am my feet WILL hit that floor with a little jiggy jig.
I stared Alroy straight in the eyes, holding his gaze and said, “You have to know, I’m NEVER that person that arrives at the desk last minute trying to squeeze in the queue and dash through the security, pushing in line. I have never, never, missed a plane or even been late for one in 50 years. 50! And boy, do I travel the world!” I stared him down, just a tad out of breath, grinning and not-so-silently begging.
He says, “the gates closed 15 minutes ago, mam, I can’t let you on,” as I inelegantly flung my case on the scale and he then had to continue as he glanced at his screen…. “And your bag is overweight, so you have to go and pay the fee – it’s too late.”
Somewhat deflated, I chimed back – “oh god, isn’t there ANYTHING you can do for me?”
“Well, maybe I can just call through and check with them – maybe?”
“Yes, please please pleaaaaase …….”
My eyes beady and heart somewhat lighter with his words of possibility.
“But your bag is still overweight.”
“Can’t we just let it through?”
He picked up the phone, “I have a VERY late passenger, she was checked in online, but her bag is overweight, is there any chance I can let her through?”
In the meantime, he is furiously (but not fast enough for me) filling out the overweight slip for me to go and pay. This is non-negotiable no matter how big my grin.
You also need to understand this. My motto is LIVE LIGHT LIVE LARGE, and yet somehow my suitcase managed to be 23.8 kilograms….on a 20kg allowance. Don’t even get me started on my hand luggage. I swear I need a new suitcase as this current one weighs 6 kgs EMPTY! Daft beyond daft, but it was a gift, so it makes my heart happy. Go figure. LIVE LIGHT, TRAVEL HEAVY!
Let me backtrack a little bit to how I even arrived so late at the gate….it never usually takes more than 40 to 50 minutes to get to Cape Town International from Houtbay in the middle of the day. I am not talking rush hour commuter traffic time. MIDDAY! Yet, as we get in the car, leave the bay and start climbing up over Constantia Nek, we realized there was a bit of a problem up ahead towards the circle at the top of the hill. I whipped out maps on my phone – damn! Red, red, red, everywhere. 38 minutes just to Constantia. Crawl, crawl, crawl. We banter back and forth about whether it’s even viable to hit the wheel and U-turn to go via Seapoint, but we are already at the point of no–return.
It took 40 minutes just to get to the top of the hill to the La Parada circle. Oops. More like DAMN! So I’m sweating a little bit. Actually sweating a lot, cursing a few people. Not to mention God followed by the Hout Bay road maintenance at the top of my list. Flashing through my brain is the thought that this is going to be the first flight that I ever missed. EVER! I have also been away from Naldo for six weeks while on a Greek trip, and this was my last little leg, just a two-hour flight to be in his arms and kissing his delicious lips once again. So while I know I am going to do whatever I can to make the flight, I also have to just sit back and relax and go, you know what – this is out of my hands. There is absolutely nothing, nothing, nothing I can do. But I also know I am going to give it my very best shot!
So by the time we were nearing to the top of the hill, Sarah says, “If you went left down the fork to Newlands, that might be much quicker,” because we were going right at the fork. We planned that I would go with her to Constantia, where her lunch meeting was (also now 45 min late) she would throw me out, and I would put myself into an Uber taxi and do the last little leg on my own to the airport. So as I call up the Uber app, agreeing it’s much better to jump ship in the middle of the road at the traffic circle, my phone’s bleeps back “insufficient funds.” Huh? What do you mean insufficient funds? I only have one account logged with Uber, I don’t have cash with me, that account has money in it, it has to work – I press confirm again. Uber bleeps again, insufficient funds. I look at Sarah with a feeling of annoyance and simultaneous shame creeping over my face – bouncing between is this a system fault vs. what IF there is no money in that account?
Regardless, somehow, right now, I can’t book myself an Uber! I feel 12. I’m now questioning if there’s a problem with that bank account and my head is racing 5 million times ahead of me…
If it’s saying insufficient funds, is there a problem with my card or has it been fraudulently hacked and money phished, or have we been working so hard this past week that I haven’t been cognizant of my spending? Surely not! Because you see now, if I’m too late for the plane it means I’m going to have to rebook a flight and then it means I don’t have enough money in this account. What the Hell’s going on? What am I going to do? And all sorts of old shameful patterning came flooding into my psyche.
Have you ever been in the dire situation when you go to pay for groceries, or you can’t put in electricity, or you go online to pay something, and you realize there isn’t quite enough money in your account? The account always screams back at you “insufficient funds” or something bounces and you know it’s going to cost you another 150 in fees for that bounced debit order? I’ve worked so flipping hard on my financial slice of life to be in a very different place now, but that old patterning just came and hit me as my solar plexus tightened up and my breath constricted, eyes watery.
Oh God, what if I’m stuck at the ticket sales trying to get on a later flight and I have no funds…
Sarah called up an Uber on her app and threw me out at the circle. Ok, maybe she really did stop the car and let me get out as I hurriedly snapped a screenshot of the confirmed Uber – I needed the right number plates, so I didn’t get into some unsuspecting driver’s car and bellow, “airport now.” But the right number plates driven by Excellency pulled up, and while throwing suitcases into the car, I said, “You don’t understand. This is a bit of an emergency for me. How fast can you legally get me to Cape Town International?”
He said 25, maps said 33, I suggested 20. We made it in 21!
In my head, because I never cut it that fine and it’s irrelevant to me usually, I somehow thought that the gates closed just 30 minutes before take off. I also figure that while I’m in the Uber I can somehow get onto my bank account and just check what is going on because I am sure there’s money in that card or I can move money around etc. etc. – but of course the laptop is in the boot, and my phone and passwords are not all connected and I cannot for the life of me access my bank online.
So there is nothing to do but try and not bite my nails and hand it over! It’s all up to the Gods actually – I started doing my own little form of a clearing prayer, seeing a beautiful light traveling out in front of me, moving effortlessly through the traffic, going to the check-in, security and plane and saying to myself, “it’s all going to be ok, and I really think I’m going to get on this plane, but let’s see how the cards fall today”. I’ve always learned in life that if you don’t get on a plane or catch that taxi or you don’t nab that last train, there’s a much bigger reason why. And I also know not to question that too much. Yet my head, my ego, every sense of me wanted to be on that plane to arrive in Johannesburg at 4.35. Excellency is driving at the speed of legal light, and I realize I might have a chance…. 21 minutes it is!
I run through departures to where I “know” Kulula’s check-in is situated, only to find I have run past it. Has it moved? Damn, I hate it when “more haste, less speed” proves to be true.
And so started my interaction with Alroy. It is definitely the first time I have run straight AT the check-in counters under those barriers that guide the queue. I just flew under them with bags in tow – big eyes looking at me from check-in staff. They sensed I was serious! Alroy soon tells me I can perhaps, probably, maybe definitely get on the plane, but my bag might not. Who cares? I start running to pay for the overweight baggage like it’s now a game of The Amazing Race…”Kate, wait, come back you need the slip” …I did the whole reverse trip even faster when running to pay for over-weight baggage, only to receive a clapping ovation from the staff as I got back to the check-in lightning speed. Perhaps I should enter the TV show race next year? Of course, with a little prayer, as she slipped the same gold card in the machine, I was quite incredulous when it just happened to work. So much for insufficient funds. Part of me expected to see the DECLINED line on the card machine.
Miraculously when I charge back to Alroy, he says, “Ok, I have made a plan, and now you just have to take your bag to the FRAGILE check-in.” I understand COLLECT your bag at fragile – assuming he means that it will come OFF the plane and be at the side of the conveyor belt in JHB. Those Gods are smiling again ….
“No,” he says, as my bag doesn’t disappear down the magical rabbit hole.
“Do you know where fragile and oversized bags is? You have to take it there now.”I hear the word SPRINT because of course, FRAGILE is at the farthest end of this terminal.
He says, speaking faster than me now, as I sense he is in for the long haul with me. “You go check it in, then I’ll meet you back at security and escort you through to the gate.”
Great stuff, because escort = faster.
But first, it’s a case of ‘run rabbit, run rabbit, run run run’! A song my Nan used to sing to me, is playing in stereo in my ears. You can see me, can’t you? Silver hair and silver handbag strung over my shoulder, heavy red suitcase on wheels for check-in, PLUS my hand luggage and we are flying through the terminal… I was like a little mountain goat and cheetah all in one. Really, the whole terminal should have been clapping and parting like the red sea. I also remember the inspirational talk given by Marie Forleo, titled everything is figureoutable – detailing her airport dash to save her marriage.
Oh shit – as I get back to security, Alroy isn’t even there yet. I thought he knew by now how fast this butt of mine can move. I look frantically back over to Kulula check-in, and he sees me, waves frantically and comes hurtling towards me! But now I realize the next hiccup – the security queue. Nope, this is me being escorted remember; so we sidetrack off to another little gate, he tells me to jump the queue at the X-ray machines as he goes and verifies my boarding pass. I apologetically say to the folk in the line, “I’m so sorry, he’s asking me to push in.”
As I’m puffing and removing my laptop, I suddenly remember what is IN my hand luggage. All the beautiful duty-free gifts that I bought at Athens airport – a full liter of Cretan olive oil, olives, rich creams, and shower gel – aka LIQUIDS. LIQUIDS! I had intended to shrink wrap them and send them as excess paid luggage, but well, here I was, going through security. BREATHE. I see the nose of my purple bag tortoise its’ head out the X-ray machine, then stop, and reverse, come out again, and reverse and I think…
Either they are going to confiscate all my delicious liquid goodies, or it’s going to take another 5 minutes I don’t have, for them to check my bag. My heart sinks. Alroy, already through the staff security, is waiting for me as if he’s ready to receive the baton in a relay race. He knows he’s going to be running with me! He’s poised and waiting…
On the 3rd sighting, my bag comes out, and no one stops me as I throw my laptop back in the suitcase and we hurtle off down the ramp. Of course the gate – I don’t even know the number as I am just following him, is at the very FAR end of the departures. He says, “Yoh, I can’t believe how fast you run.” He’s half my age! Maybe even younger! And fit! Not an ounce of fat oozing out of his tight Kulula uniform!
Understand this. I’m a walker – both in name and passion. I’m a Yogi, and I’m a swimmer. I am NOT a runner. Once in my life, I trained for, and did the Spar 10km race just for the hell of a goal to attempt running, and while I loved it, I later injured my back quite severely. But today, I ran like a little silver crested Cheetah. Well, I probably looked more like a huffing, puffing, baby elephant, but I ran through that airport on FIRE I tell ya, on fire! I probably ran the length of Cape Town airport about three times in the space of 12 minutes. As we get down to the gate, he says, “oh look, there’s been a delay. They haven’t even started boarding yet”. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I just wheezed, trying to catch my breath.
While my heart is relieved, my asthmatic chest is really not happy and I have sweated as much as in a Bikram class, – not just little beads of sweat to match my elegant outfit – hell no – a tsunami of menopausal sweat mixed with crazy, running woman sweat. Sorry to the lovely lady who sat next to me on the flight!
And he is about to leave me there, his crazy, woman package delivered, he says, “there you go, you have made your flight – but maybe I can get you to the front of the queue.” You know where the ones with babies and in wheelchairs are? I gave him that Bambi eyed look – I think my sheer tenacity spoke to his heart, and God knows what he told the gate staff, but I was the second one on the plane. I slept solidly for two hours and as the plane doors open the lady next to me says she has a long time to wait for her next plane, and so she is happy to let me out of my window seat. I smile at her and say ” I can just climb over you, then you don’t have to move” and with that, I hopped onto my seat and gazelle-like jumped over her. Her reply ‘it’s nice to be so agile”. Indeed it is.
My big red suitcase was first off the line at OR Tambo and all was right in my world again as I go up to the departure level for my usual meeting pick up, and as I walk out, Mr. luscious lips pulls up. The rest is censored….
My point dear reader – I handed it over to the Gods, the staff and all powers that be, but you can bet your bottom dollar that I gave it horns to ensure I was not ever left thinking- “I wonder if I could have made that flight?” I could have, and I darn well did! And of course, that bank card and account were just 100% dandy! Just a regular day in my life! I think I will go back to attempting to live up to LIVE LIGHT LIVE LARGE again.
I would love to hear YOUR story of that near miss! A plane, train or ferry. Drop me a comment below or on email@example.com – yes that does come STRAIGHT to me!
Back to LIVE LIGHT, LIVE LARGE!
It hit me like a ton of cement bricks yesterday as I sighed out the following words and whispered – “I’ve been letting go of THE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY!” BAM! The words were out, the notion explained and then the feeling 100% shifted into relief. Full blown relief and knowing that it was right. As if every single cell in my body got it too!
Let me take you back a bit – You may already know that I love spending time in Greece, on the island of Lesbos where we host annual writing retreats. I try and entice as many friends and writers as possible to come and experience the slow-paced joys and the exquisite light of one authentic Greek village on this beautiful Greek island – for me the less commercial, the better.
I came for this 6-week visit to follow a big dream and launch a new business deal– by collaborating with a USA based realtor on my third book, SHIFT YOUR HOME – to reach out to more people, using more American based techniques, tools, funnels, networks and ideas. This has been a dream of mine for the past 4 -5 years since I first visited the US of A! We both needed to commit to being in the same place at the same time to get on with the doing of the dreaming! A year was enough already since we had started formulating the ideas and made over 60 videos for content! So Greece it was. Some question marks had come up for me over this past year about the direction I was heading, but then I would suppress and ignore them, especially as SO much work and time, money and energy had already been invested– thinking mostly it was my success saboteur monster rearing it’s multi-headed self again. Just follow the big dream Kate – it would snarl back at me. Much like one of couple getting cold feet before a wedding yet going through with it anyway, when the voice inside isn’t only nagging, it’s yelling …get OUT NOW! Luckily for me, I have tools in my personal toolkit, my arsenal of self-development techniques, as well as my trusted partner, amazing friends and some professionals to call on when the going gets really tough. You know those people you need for backup when you want some processing, some healing, some insight, a way to sift through some of the big sticky stuff that we all go through. And that’s precisely why many of you come to me for sessions.
So first, I did what I had been inkling to do – I called HALT on the entire project. NO more, no can do, I’m DONE! Then, on the day of making that decision internally, but before sharing it with the recipient i.e. business partner, I called up my ‘go-to-healer’ person and said, “I need some help. FAST. I need some insight, I need some perspective, I need some healing around this challenge, and I need it fast. HELP”…anyone out there? But his autoresponder said he was away on a pilgrimage. So I had to trust ME 100%. Even better right?
A full week later, on the flip side of the decision made, (which happened to be yesterday), we were finally having the requested session and something came spontaneously tumbling out of my mouth. As it spilled out into the air around my lips, both he and I said, wow …..wow…..what a great concept. Not in an egotistical way, more in a ‘recognition of something big’ way. I immediately felt the enormity of it, burst out laughing and said, ‘Yep, I’ll have to do a blog post about that.’ I also said, ‘oh, perhaps it’s even a book title.’So what came out of my mouth and more importantly my heart, was talking about THE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY! And so for me, this whole concept is that sometimes we have a big dream in our heart and soul. We have huge goals, some massive wishes, certain things that we really believe we want and we hope that we also deserve them. And then we kind of set ourselves up to work towards these with intention, hopefully, some wisdom, a dash of laughter and maybe some potential struggle along the way.
But what I was referring to was that there had been this potential possibility lurking in my life for probably the last 4-5 years. And this was about the potential of book number three, titled SHIFT YOUR HOME and what I believed it might be able to do in the world. The millions of lives it could change, how it eases the hearts of home sellers by sharing some techniques I have created and tested, with HUGE results. It felt like the one book that could possibly break the records, out-sell my other books and make a real difference. And so what’s happened is that I had created this huge big dream, idea, and picture and it grew and got bigger and bolder every year. But along the way, I’ve also been disappointed with its long-winded journey and had to cut the ties with my first USA publisher 18 months ago, and start the search all over again. Re-ignite the dream, fuel the passion, kick it back into shape. In the meanwhile I just gave the book a mini nudge out into the world, gathering more feedback and happy clients, but always playing it small in the hope of waiting for the BIG THING, the BIG DREAM to transpire. And so what happens is that this MASK slyly slips on and sticks to the face – because I started working towards this new goal, this big idea with such relentless tenacity – that I kept ignoring the mask of potential possibility. But it’s all a darn illusion! A Masked Ball where the cosmic joke was on me.
The concept and dream start teasing us. The mask pretends that it’s the right alliance, the right way forward, the blessed opportunity, without actually showing what’s underneath that – as we don’t really want to see it. What’s lying quietly dormant, literally and figuratively, waiting to attack, beneath the mask? The harsh reality of a rabbit hole to nowhere. So for me, this concept means the following – are you holding on so tight to something in your life because you believe it could be something profound, useful, earth-shatteringly grand? Well, are you?
You see here’s the problem – when we do just that, it takes so much energy to uphold that dream, to uphold that idea, to uphold the potential of that possibility, that we fall into the trap of forgetting how much it’s holding us back. If all our energy is going in one direction, by default, we close off other opportunities in the pursuit of this mask. Our ego is happy as it’s being kept nice and busy, thinking it has a big project, a grand alliance. When all it has is a mask.
So what happened was I woke up one morning last week, one month into this deeper dive of committing to the joint project in Greece and I literally just felt the words “I’m done,” well up, the moment I opened my eyes from a deep sleep – that’s often how things come to me when I’m at the end of the rope with whatever it is I’m working through and mulling over. Decision made, the option of that path culled. It’s never for me about pro’s and cons or needing to knowing what’s next. That’s what I teach right? LET GO, make space, truly and then the next step unfolds. So if I teach it, I have to live it, right? So I just felt the words in my heart and soul “I’m done” as I was lying face down in my bed. The immediate relief was incredible – the RIGHTNESS of the decision – the delusion of the mask now shattered to show what was sitting beneath it. Granted it’s taken me almost a week to fully process it, live into it and feel a new way forward – a large part of it was literally lifting off the mask and declaring, actually this is bullshit.
This is not what it appears to be. This is not what I want. This is not the brand building I desire for my future. It’s actually taking me on a path and a trajectory that is the antithesis of where I honestly want to go. It was so interesting for me just feeling into that and wondering if it’s ever true for you? I know that when things are happening to me, it’s usually very relevant for my clients and you, my readers as well. So where might you be holding so flipping tightly onto something, but actually it’s THE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY that’s playing an ironic game of pretend? Where are you thinking, believing and hoping like hell that there is a possibility and there is potential when actually, your gut is telling you something 100% different?
Could you even dare to go there, and de-commit? Without even knowing what you might be re-committing going forward?
So that’s what’s been going on for me with this international project – the pretense of a big, bold, brand alliance – when actually I now realize I am deeply happy that this book reaches who it is meant to reach, at the time in life when they most need it. When you are selling YOUR home, you may remember there is something that can speed up and ease the dreaded process. The work is simple yet profound, and I trust it has a magic that takes it where it needs to go!
My gut has been trying to get my attention – but I needed to make space, time and commitment to this deeper layer in Greece to be able to finally see the real mask. I realized I had heard myself feeling things like …
“I don’t think so”
“What about XYZ?”
“I’m not so sure anymore”
“This doesn’t feel right for me.”
“I’m not sure we are a good fit going forward”
“I have to motivate all these ideas- I am not INSPIRED by them”
And yet the mask was so colorful, deceptive, delicious and internationally enticing that of course the mask always won the tousle of the moment. But as I lay face down, feeling the essence of “I’M DONE”, every cell of my body simultaneously yelled “THANK GOD – What took you so blooming long Kate? Can we now just get on with it, darn it, and do what needs to be done?” I was able to peel the mask off, even if it means potentially losing face with some people –in all honesty, I only need to be true to and honor myself. I am allowed to make new commitments.
Is there something that YOU need to make a new decision on, regardless of knowing what the next step would be if you just dared to take off the mask of potential possibility now – the next step WILL reveal itself. But when all the energy locked up in the mask, it will delude you for life.
I would so love to hear from you – drop me a comment below this blog, hit reply and email me back and let me know what’s up in your life. How colorfully deceptive is your mask right now?
And do you need any support from me?
Recently I have found that many people are sick and tired of the crazy busy lives they have created when they actually yearn for a whole new career change or want to take two months off to come to Greece. If a little island in a sea of blue calls you to clear your head, find your true yearning and maybe where you want to write your book, then take a look here. We have 4 spots left for 2019 writing retreat.
With lightness for taking THE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY off,
P.S. Here is a sneak preview of my 2nd edition cover for book three, SHIFT YOUR HOME. And for the first time, I feel 100% aligned and in love with it, the cover, my message and the potential it holds to simply do what it can do, one home at a time. Time to re-love and take full ownership of my work and passion. The e-version will be released in the next two weeks, with the print one hot on its heels! Watch this space as the next step unfolds or PRE ORDER HERE IN SOUTH AFRICA!
When life gets ridiculously busy, overwhelming, and fraught with responsibilities and you feel at the bottom of your priority list, perhaps it’s time to re-think some ground rules? As you chase your chosen goals (or your tail!) and step up to be the best version of yourself whilst sticking to your values – every now and then it can all get too much. It can be useful to resort to my 5 simple yet counter-intuitive strategies, called the cheeky G-Spots, to kick-start a VIP relationship with yourself.
- GO SMALL (CONTRARY TO THE GO BIG CONCEPT!)
One of the biggest traps women still fall headlong into, is to make unrealistic demands on how they are going to change everything. Moreover, of course, change it all at once – GUN HO approach – sound familiar to you? Then you usually land up changing zero, nada, nothing and are left bereft of your goals thus feeling far worse off than when you started. However, everyone, including you, can START SMALL. Small tweaks for big leaps. Consider a realistic 5-10% improvement in one area of your life; when you have achieved that, you can start with the next aspect. One small chunk at a time. Step by step.
CHALLENGE: What ONE thing can you commit to shifting today and how will you shift it? Go small to end tall.
- GEAR DOWN – STOP WORRYING ABOUT OTHERS’ OPINIONS BY GIVING LESS OF A DAMN
What other people think about you in NONE of your business. WHAT? How often is everything that you do, think, feel or act upon, based on how others will possibly approve or disapprove of you? Your life is meant to be one of joy and stretching for what makes you happy. No matter what! If you don’t know, find out. Every time you put another’s needs ahead of your own for the wrong reasons and drop yourself off your priority list, you are in effect making their needs way more important than your own. The plight of the compassionate female! How will you ever achieve happiness? You can continue to think it is the most generous thing (giving of yourself for the betterment of others), which it IS, provided it is not at the expense of yourself. Be more in control of what you need to do within your space, take charge of your challenges and stop “vomiting” your stuff into other people’s space. Be the best version of yourself so that you are more available to others.
CHALLENGE: For the next five days, the moment you wake up, your challenge is to do something for YOURSELF first. Perhaps a quiet cup of tea before you wake the rest of the house, ten minutes journaling, a walk, etc. You can come back to everyone else AFTER you have taken care of YOU.
- GRAND EXPANSION BY USING ‘AND’
We have been continuously taught life is about either or, one or the other, this or that, yes or no. Really? The concept of grand expansion is grasping the concept of the word “AND.” It boils down to self-belief and the idea that you can have what you choose in the way that you want it. Most of us have been brought up to make choices, and choices have consequences. When you have the courageous conversations with yourself and others about what is important to you, then you may be able to find a way forward that incorporates BOTH, or several options, the commonly known WIN-WIN. I prefer to think of it as the GRAND AND! It is a mindset of how you view the world and what you expect you deserve. It also links to point 2 – it is possible to put yourself on your priority list AND thereby still be able to help others too! Ponder that for a moment.
CHALLENGE: Every time you hear yourself saying “OR,” reframe the sentence or request to use “AND.” Make a game of it to see how often you can rise to the challenge and enlist the help of someone you trust to nudge you when you fall into old habits.
- GUT-FEEL INSTEAD OF GUTTED
I cannot emphasize this enough. Your instincts will always give you the right answer and will show you the orange warning lights way in advance. You can also rely on your nasty, mean and self-deprecating nagging voice to try its level best to sabotage you and turn you against yourself. It is always your little voice’s job to make sure you doubt yourself and yet, your spirit-self ultimately demands that you listen to your gut. It’s your lifeline from birth to death. Make a decision based on your initial gut response, find reasons to support it and MOVE ON! Think back to anything that “went wrong” in the last year and be honest if you always knew at the start but just never listened? So often we are merely scared to trust ourselves and will abdicate to others’ ideas and opinions rather than make any waves based on our gut feel.
CHALLENGE: A bit of a weird one to try. The moment you hear your nagging voice kick in, literally address it directly and say, “thank you for your input, but I’m going with my gut on this one for now, thank you.” Try it!
- GROUPY – LEARN TO HANG OUT WITH LIKE MINDED FOLK
If you are brutally honest with yourself, which takes real guts, then you know whether you are disciplined and self-reliable in pursuing your goals or if you let yourself off the hook to easily. Even the most successful people that you know achieve massive results because they have grounded support systems and are accountable for the right reasons to the right people. Get a support group, a disciplined friend, join an online community course, be mentored and have a “go – to” person to help you stay on track Quit trying to do it on your own for once and then beating yourself up when you inevitably feel like a failure.
CHALLENGE: Contact that “someone / group” today to let them know what you are working on and ask for their specific help in achieving your goals over the next six months.
I cannot wait to witness the shifts you make so that you become the breeding ground for miracles again. Come and check out my website where you will find out retreats, mentorships and all things geared to help you LIVE LIGHT, LIVE LARGE. www.kate-emmerson.com
If you need to take quiet time out for yourself to REBOOT THIS SPRING, then check out my retreat being held an hour from JHB, in the luxurious Steynshoop Valley Lodge. We have just 4 places left.
Hello – this morning I made a quick video of my three favorite “GO TO” tools I use for processing emotions Vs. getting stuck this side of them, letting them trip me up and wreak havoc. I only ever coach clients on processes or tools that I personally use for myself as well! Ones that quite literally change my life!
We all have things we do when our back is against the wall – either by default or design. I know my less productive habits might be to drink too much coffee, get too busy, a few too many glasses of wine – but I also have essential healthy self-care practices and tools I use with clients. Tools that can quite literally perform miracles and astounding shifts.
What do YOU resort to when you need to address “issues,” challenging emotions and just generally make sense of all the STUFF that is in your face begging for attention. In this video below, I share my 3 personal favorite tools. My tried and tested ones! Do you have healthy ways to get unstuck, process emotions and move through them?
Are you being called right now to face some sticky stuff in life? Do you need to dedicate some quiet time to get away from the hustle and bustle so that you can finally process your emotions through the medium of writing? Well, we are going on a retreat – you may want to act fast and get on our WRITE YOUR STORY retreat, taking place in the beautiful area of Tulbach, on the most glorious farm. We are going to write, write, heal, rest, eat, play, walk, write, write and write. Definitely SOME wine along with healthy juices, foraging in the veggie garden and luxuriating for 5 nights in the most beautiful guesthouse! Sarah and I will be sharing all things writing-related, and I will also be facilitating the other 2 techniques I talk about in this video on the retreat….designed to help you heal and shift your life.
These are just some of the reasons why YOU might want to write – whether for yourself or to be published. Writing is cathartic, healing and a powerful way to PROCESS EMOTIONS.
To find some meaning in your own life
You feel you have a compelling story to share
You are an authority in your field
You want credibility
To entertain people
To leave a legacy
You have no idea, just a calling
You are not sure you even want to write a book
You want to set the record straight
You enjoy a challenge
You find writing therapeutic
You just feel the need to tell your story
Discover what happened by looking back at your past
Re-witness the most critical times in your life
Work with or through guilt, fear, shame, anger
Preserve your family’s history
Improve your ability to communicate with others
Learn how to forgive yourself
Record your life for your children
You have a cause
Write a speech for your own party
To ensure that your children and grandchildren know who you are
To inspire others to overcome a difficulty
To share a few tales your family love
To share an incredible life adventure
To shine a light on a problem or cause
To entertain readers with exciting/ dramatic/amusing episodes from your life
To teach a valuable lesson about your business, culture, religion, life
To capture a slice of history
To better understand yourself
I wish you a day filled with understanding who you are and how you process YOUR emotions so that you can get on with living your amazing life.
I feel compelled to share an experience that got me thinking about how well do we all really listen to each other. Whether in business or socially, it seems that the quality of your and my attention and intention can deeply impact the resultant experience that we have.
How do YOU listen to other people?
How do I listen to you?
How do you listen to YOURSELF?
Are you losing customers without even knowing it?
The scenario that happened:
- SMS from current life insurance company offering an interesting option of “X”
- I respond saying I am potentially interested in “X”
- Conversation quickly diverts to “Y”
- I respond – I am not interested in “Y” right now.
- Can we set up a meeting he says?
- Now, I am precious about my time and about wasting it or anyone else’s, so I respond – I am only prepared to meet if in fact “X” is truly possible within my portfolio – please do not try and up-sell me a policy as I am not in the market for “Y”.
- Get loads of run-around by said broker. Yes, bells went off and yet I did not listen to MYSELF. I was also genuinely interested in “X” as a scenario to explore.
- Agreed to meet – then he was late, and I was only spoken AT, not even TO about option…..you guessed it, “Y”. After tolerating this for nine looooong minutes, I exasperatedly asked – yes but what about option ‘X”, the very reason for us meeting?
- To which I got a fumbled -no no no you are not eligible for “X” Kate!
Mmmm lies, deceit and false advertising. One sure way to pi$s me off!
My comment to him – yes Mr, but that was the agreement and terms to us meeting i.e. that “X” was in fact plausible for me given my personal current context. You promised to look into that and having this meeting implied it was true. You have wasted both our time and lost me 100% as a potential customer.
The fact that I am not divulging him or his company is just being plain decent, as I was mad!
I then gave him a very straightforward mouthful – I looked at the broker and told him flat:” You have totally disregarded my request, here is your “Y” option folder back and your business card. In reality “Y” could have interested me, had you genuinely bothered to take me seriously and LISTENED to my needs about “X”. You are merely using manipulation to make sales.
You totally lost me as a potential client.
I got up, paid for my coffee and left him sitting with a mouthful of teeth.
I also reminded myself of how I could have listened to my intuition better and wasted an hour of my life!
Learn to listen to yourself.
Learn to listen to your customers.
Learn to listen to what the universe is telling you via your higher self.
Do you breathe your very essence and power into your life every day?
Or do you tend to play small and tone it all down?
Why is it that we are still sometimes too shy to share the great things in our life? All that stuff we are taught when little about keeping your light under a bushel and not blowing your own trumpet…..I think that ultimately we do ourselves an injustice. So, today I am challenging you to actually stand up and be proud of who you are and what you are achieving in your life, no matter how small or big it appears externally. I have been sharing my secrets lately about radical shifts, tough times etc, so what about sharing some of the groovy stuff I am experiencing too?
Are you able to acknowledge something awesome in your life today that you are so proud of it could burst out of you if you let the world to see? It can be something small that is just for your own self-esteem – knowing that you got through today, or being proud that you are sticking to your exercise routine. Or that you actually remembered to call your friend on a day you know mattered to them. It could be an outcome at work that leaves you feeling proud and puffing out your tailfeathers – perhaps something a colleague did in passing this morning that reminded you how awesome you are?
Or maybe it’s a real biggie that you have been feeling shy to share with others – will they be jealous, not be happy for you or do you battle to take the credit? Close your eyes for a moment and let yourself feel the energy of being truly proud of yourself. Not in an overly egotistical way, but more of in an “I am prepared to acknowledge this because it makes me feel honestly great” kind of way.
PRACTICAL CHALLENGE RIGHT NOW!
Find something that you are willing to acknowledge and tell 5 people today.
Mmm yes 5!
My masterminders have to do that every two weeks when we meet- start off by sharing something they feel is a success! It builds self-worth and keeps the positive energy flowing especially when things feel a little rocky or tough! Yes 2017, we know what you have thrown at us!
What is something that YOU are proud of accomplishing in your life right now? See if this can stretch your comfort zone just a bit. You may feel awkward, you may feel shy, you may feel like an egotistical and arrogant person…but what if you also feel the light that shines inside you as you share that with another human. Let yourself be seen for whom you really are today……go on!
I am proud of…..!!!
I’d like to share what I am currently proud of with you: I am so proud that I managed to stick out 3 months in the USA.
Even though it has been my dream for the past 3 years to go for an extended 3 month visit to see how much I really love it, I literally went there with NO plans, no specific work lined up in the USA, no conferences to attend or movies to appear in, Premieres to walk the red carpet at or friends birthday’s to celebrate as per every other visit thus far. Of course I always have my location free lifestyle and all my wonderful regular online courses, writers and masterminders. But that was it. Three months stretched out ahead of me – in dollars!
I went essentially to SHOW UP for my third book SHIFT YOUR HOME as I have always had a dream about collaborating in the USA. In the first two weeks I pretty much cried every day, slept ten hours, wondered what the HELL I was doing and just felt so so very alone, small and helpless. Little and pathetic! YEP! So I resorted to my own advice that I dish out and made myself do just ONE thing every day towards finding magic for my third book, and slowly it started unfurling when I got out of my own way! I started doing my yoga at a local studio in San Rafael, hung out at Starbucks to work and guzzle coffee, writing gratitudes and keeping my eye on the bigger dream. After all, I didn’t want to waste a three-month trip.
SO after wallowing a bit in self created dross, I picked myself up with help from my support teams (my mastermind group, friends, partner and a massive release exercise!) and literally started being as cheeky as all hell and asking people for help to meet people that would be connected to the realty / real estate industry to collaborate with my new book. VOILA- I managed to collide with someone very special and soon we will be releasing the new updated version and online course!
SO BACK TO YOU!!
WHAT ARE YOU SINCERELY PROUD OF?
My challenge to you is that you chat to 5 (FIVE) people about what is happening in your life that you are proud of today. Yes, I mean 5!
And if you really want to UP THE ANTE and put an awesome full stop at the end of the year, keep reading…
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HARNESS 2017 AND CLOSE OUT STRONG?
Every year at this time, I facilitate CLOSE OUT STRONG. Done as a stunningly supported group process you get to harness the GROSS AND GROOVY, the GLEES AND THE GLITCHES from 2017 to set yourself up for a LIGHTER start to 2018.
This process ensures you take stock and take charge.
Streamline and focus on what matters so that you don’t limp over the finish line but rather END PROUD AND TALL!
For more information READ HERE
Officially starts Friday 24th November, but you can join later if you choose.
Every now and then, it is true – that sitting patiently, silently, in a centered and non -pressurized way, simply biding your time is absolutely necessary! A bit like the full moon and the special Eclipse last night. It can only happen at the EXACT moment it is ripe to happen. Not one second before. You can read more about what this eclipse means for you from an awesome colleague, Cassandra- click here.
And at other times, you are merely conning yourself -yes, YOU ARE CONNING YOURSELF and playing small. And what is called for is a little nudge or even a tougher kickup the b*tt to get back into action as opposed to wallowing around pretending to be patient. All that matters is that you do the right one at the right time, and don’t con yourself you are being “patient” when actually you are faffing around. “procrastinating”.
There is a HUGE difference between these two scenarios. I think that all too often we think we are being patient with regards to an outcome we want, or a goal we are working towards, when all we are really doing is wasting time and space by not doing anything. We can lull ourselves into the sense of false security that the time is not right, when in actual fact we are conning ourselves and letting ourselves easily off the hook.
We can get VERY good at doing that.
There is wisdom in knowing the difference between the two. Let me keep it simple as to how I see the difference…and see if you recognize where you are right now with regards to some aspect of your life.
How do you recognize if you are being patient?
You have a sense of order
You trust that things are right for you
It feels good on the inside
There is a sense of calm
You feel empowered that all is as it should be
You are positive about what is coming
You have taken all possible action within your power for this goal / outcome
You are excited and optimistic
You can sense the divine timing around it all
How do you recognize if you are just “messing about wasting time” procrastinating?
You are lethargic and tired
Your head is not focussed on your goal
You have no sense of direction….just ambling around
You have not taken all actions within your control
You expect others to be doing things
You are irritable the goal is not happening
You are blaming people or circumstances about why the goal is not being reached
You are doing things that have no real value; TV, shopping, sleeping unnecessarily
You are bored and apathetic
So, when you think about something that you say you really want and are not getting, just assess where you are at HONESTLY and if you need to actually start taking different action and get your b*tt into gear. If things are just as they should be for right now and everything is in perfect harmony then get on and enjoy the time you have on your hands by doing something else you really enjoy?
You cannot speed something up that is not ready…..so don’t even try.
HERE’S WHAT TO DO NOW IF YOU KNOW YOU ARE FAFFING ABOUT…
Mastermind groups have been THE game-changer for me over the past 7 years. If you are in JHB on the 19th August, or Cape Town on the 27th August, why not join me for my powerful once off mastermind days?
Get the low down here: off the cuff MASTERMIND DAY snippets
LEAP ‘n LEVERAGE YOUR LIFE: ONCE-OFF MASTERMIND DAY
I will also be hosting ONCE off mastermind days – show up full tilt, with no further obligation other than fulfilling your commitments from the day. You will get input, support, be challenged and have access to 14 other brains, hearts and souls for 6 hours, FACE TO FACE. I know you will get HUGE take-home value from the day and hey, you might even be begging to join my next mastermind group. It’s as addictive as apparently, tattoos are (which is a complete assumption seeing as I don’t have any – in case you were ever wondering)