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greek writing retreat Archives - Kate Emmerson

THE SEDUCTIVE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY

By Coaching Tips 'n Tools, Insights to help you #quickshift

It hit me like a ton of cement bricks yesterday as I sighed out the following words and whispered – “I’ve been letting go of  THE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY!” BAM! The words were out, the notion explained and then the feeling 100% shifted into relief. Full blown relief and knowing that it was right. As if every single cell in my body got it too!

Let me take you back a bit – You may already know that I love spending time in Greece, on the island of Lesbos where we host annual writing retreats. I try and entice as many friends and writers as possible to come and experience the slow-paced joys and the exquisite light of one authentic Greek village on this beautiful Greek island – for me the less commercial, the better.

I came for this 6-week visit to follow a big dream and launch a new business deal– by collaborating with a USA based realtor on my third book, SHIFT YOUR HOME – to reach out to more people, using more American based techniques, tools, funnels, networks and ideas. This has been a dream of mine for the past 4 -5 years since I first visited the US of A! We both needed to commit to being in the same place at the same time to get on with the doing of the dreaming! A year was enough already since we had started formulating the ideas and made over 60 videos for content! So Greece it was. Some question marks had come up for me over this past year about the direction I was heading,  but then I would suppress and ignore them, especially as SO much work and time, money and energy had already been invested– thinking mostly it was my success saboteur monster rearing it’s multi-headed self again. Just follow the big dream Kate – it would snarl back at me. Much like one of couple getting cold feet before a wedding yet going through with it anyway, when the voice inside isn’t only nagging, it’s yelling …get OUT NOW! Luckily for me, I have tools in my personal toolkit, my arsenal of self-development techniques, as well as my trusted partner, amazing friends and some professionals to call on when the going gets really tough. You know those people you need for backup when you want some processing, some healing, some insight, a way to sift through some of the big sticky stuff that we all go through. And that’s precisely why many of you come to me for sessions.

So first, I did what I had been inkling to do – I called HALT on the entire project. NO more, no can do, I’m DONE! Then, on the day of making that decision internally, but before sharing it with the recipient i.e. business partner, I called up my ‘go-to-healer’ person and said, “I need some help. FAST. I need some insight, I need some perspective, I need some healing around this challenge, and I need it fast. HELP”…anyone out there? But his autoresponder said he was away on a pilgrimage. So I had to trust ME 100%. Even better right?

A full week later, on the flip side of the decision made, (which happened to be yesterday), we were finally having the requested session and something came spontaneously tumbling out of my mouth. As it spilled out into the air around my lips, both he and I said, wow …..wow…..what a great concept. Not in an egotistical way, more in a ‘recognition of something big’ way.  I immediately felt the enormity of it, burst out laughing and said, ‘Yep, I’ll have to do a blog post about that.’ I also said, ‘oh, perhaps it’s even a book title.’So what came out of my mouth and more importantly my heart, was talking about THE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY! And so for me, this whole concept is that sometimes we have a big dream in our heart and soul. We have huge goals, some massive wishes, certain things that we really believe we want and we hope that we also deserve them. And then we kind of set ourselves up to work towards these with intention, hopefully, some wisdom, a dash of laughter and maybe some potential struggle along the way.

But what I was referring to was that there had been this potential possibility lurking in my life for probably the last 4-5 years. And this was about the potential of book number three, titled SHIFT YOUR HOME and what I believed it might be able to do in the world. The millions of lives it could change, how it eases the hearts of home sellers by sharing some techniques I have created and tested, with HUGE results. It felt like the one book that could possibly break the records, out-sell my other books and make a real difference. And so what’s happened is that I had created this huge big dream, idea, and picture and it grew and got bigger and bolder every year. But along the way, I’ve also been disappointed with its long-winded journey and had to cut the ties with my first USA publisher 18 months ago, and start the search all over again. Re-ignite the dream, fuel the passion, kick it back into shape. In the meanwhile I just gave the book a mini nudge out into the world, gathering more feedback and happy clients, but always playing it small in the hope of waiting for the BIG THING, the BIG DREAM to transpire. And so what happens is that this MASK slyly slips on and sticks to the face – because I started working towards this new goal, this big idea with such relentless tenacity – that I kept ignoring the mask of potential possibility. But it’s all a darn illusion! A Masked Ball where the cosmic joke was on me.

The concept and dream start teasing us. The mask pretends that it’s the right alliance, the right way forward, the blessed opportunity, without actually showing what’s underneath that – as we don’t really want to see it. What’s lying quietly dormant, literally and figuratively, waiting to attack, beneath the mask? The harsh reality of a rabbit hole to nowhere. So for me, this concept means the following – are you holding on so tight to something in your life because you believe it could be something profound, useful, earth-shatteringly grand? Well, are you?

You see here’s the problem – when we do just that, it takes so much energy to uphold that dream, to uphold that idea, to uphold the potential of that possibility, that we fall into the trap of forgetting how much it’s holding us back. If all our energy is going in one direction, by default, we close off other opportunities in the pursuit of this mask. Our ego is happy as it’s being kept nice and busy, thinking it has a big project, a grand alliance. When all it has is a mask.

So what happened was I woke up one morning last week, one month into this deeper dive of committing to the joint project in Greece and I literally just felt the words “I’m done,” well up, the moment I opened my eyes from a deep sleep – that’s often how things come to me when I’m at the end of the rope with whatever it is I’m working through and mulling over. Decision made, the option of that path culled. It’s never for me about pro’s and cons or needing to knowing what’s next. That’s what I teach right? LET GO, make space, truly and then the next step unfolds. So if I teach it, I have to live it, right? So I just felt the words in my heart and soul “I’m done” as I was lying face down in my bed. The immediate relief was incredible – the RIGHTNESS of the decision – the delusion of the mask now shattered to show what was sitting beneath it. Granted it’s taken me almost a week to fully process it, live into it and feel a new way forward – a large part of it was literally lifting off the mask and declaring, actually this is bullshit.

This is not what it appears to be. This is not what I want. This is not the brand building I desire for my future. It’s actually taking me on a path and a trajectory that is the antithesis of where I honestly want to go. It was so interesting for me just feeling into that and wondering if it’s ever true for you? I know that when things are happening to me, it’s usually very relevant for my clients and you, my readers as well. So where might you be holding so flipping tightly onto something, but actually it’s THE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY that’s playing an ironic game of pretend? Where are you thinking, believing and hoping like hell that there is a possibility and there is potential when actually, your gut is telling you something 100% different?

Could you even dare to go there, and de-commit? Without even knowing what you might be re-committing going forward?

So that’s what’s been going on for me with this international project – the pretense of a big, bold, brand alliance – when actually I now realize I am deeply happy that this book reaches who it is meant to reach, at the time in life when they most need it. When you are selling YOUR home, you may remember there is something that can speed up and ease the dreaded process. The work is simple yet profound, and I trust it has a magic that takes it where it needs to go!

My gut has been trying to get my attention – but I needed to make space, time and commitment to this deeper layer in Greece to be able to finally see the real mask. I realized I had heard myself feeling things like …
“I don’t think so”
“What about XYZ?”
“I’m not so sure anymore”
“This doesn’t feel right for me.”
“I’m not sure we are a good fit going forward”
“I have to motivate all these ideas- I am not INSPIRED by them”

And yet the mask was so colorful, deceptive, delicious and internationally enticing that of course the mask always won the tousle of the moment. But as I lay face down, feeling the essence of “I’M DONE”,  every cell of my body simultaneously yelled “THANK GOD – What took you so blooming long Kate? Can we now just get on with it, darn it, and do what needs to be done?” I was able to peel the mask off, even if it means potentially losing face with some people –in all honesty,  I only need to be true to and honor myself. I am allowed to make new commitments.

Is there something that YOU need to make a new decision on, regardless of knowing what the next step would be if you just dared to take off the mask of potential possibility now – the next step WILL reveal itself. But when all the energy locked up in the mask, it will delude you for life.

I would so love to hear from you – drop me a comment below this blog, hit reply and email me back and let me know what’s up in your life. How colorfully deceptive is your mask right now?

And do you need any support from me?

Recently I have found that many people are sick and tired of the crazy busy lives they have created when they actually yearn for a whole new career change or want to take two months off to come to Greece. If a little island in a sea of blue calls you to clear your head, find your true yearning and maybe where you want to write your book, then take a look here. We have 4 spots left for 2019 writing retreat.

With lightness for taking THE MASK OF POTENTIAL POSSIBILITY off,
Kate

P.S. Here is a sneak preview of my 2nd edition cover for book three, SHIFT YOUR HOME. And for the first time, I feel 100% aligned and in love with it, the cover, my message and the potential it holds to simply do what it can do, one home at a time. Time to re-love and take full ownership of my work and passion. The e-version will be released in the next two weeks, with the print one hot on its heels! Watch this space as the next step unfolds or PRE ORDER HERE IN SOUTH AFRICA!

Mastering the ART OF SLOW – it’s a little harder than it looks

By Transformational Journeys

LEARNING TO MASTER THE ART OF SLOW… and how it has profound ramifications on my productivity.

What on earth do you mean I’m going to hang out at the beach and in taverna’s all day? Are you mad? Order one coffee and chill for 3 hours on wifi?

IS THIS honestly what people do on Greek islands?

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I instinctively know I am going to have to seriously LET GO and de-clutter my schedule, brain, and expectations of my usually fast- paced life. It is never that easy for me to voluntarily slow down. Usually, it’s because I’m a little stressed about running my own business, taking the best possible care of clients, a little too close to burn out for my liking. You see, probably like you, I don’t always know how to say NO, or have overdone it at some level, maybe feeling mentally or physically tired and only then do I KNOW I need to rest and recuperate. Can you relate? Or I go extremely intense and do a mammoth yet very healthy 7-day juice detox to reset my button. I find a way – one that usually works 80-90 % of the time. I take my own advice as often as possible (otherwise what’s the point of offering it to you?).  I definitely DO take plenty of play time and fun time and relationship time, but I still tend to veer towards the working very hard syndrome, and can work 8 straight hours a day at my computer – working online, writing, creating talks or running groups. I try and pretend to myself I am cracking “it” and just working 4-hour days (doing my best to emulate Tim Ferris) but I don’t think it’s honestly true all the time. The joys of self-delusion you know?

I totally fantasize about the concept of leveraging and smartening up my productivity, and have definitely improved at least 250% in the past 5 years compared to the last 43 years of my life and so in certain aspects I even feel like I am getting it right. I just know my predominant trap is to keep going back to my default of PUSHY PUSHIER PUSHIEST zone. This is one of the 5 GLITCHES I speak about in my second book – DITCH YOUR GLITCH.

So, just like you, I am most definitely a work in progress, evolving and making better choices as often as feels possible. Can you relate to that – a STEP by STEP journey?

The art of SLOW feels particularly onerous for me to just “drop” into. I know full well the benefits, both short and long term and even meditate regularly and write morning pages, but before long I’ll usually be dashing off to do something with someone, somewhere, for work or play. Now if I want to DASH here in Greece it is going to have to be by foot or bicycle! I am being forced into the art of SLOW and I am stuck with my island choice and me for a month. Sounds like bliss, and it surely IS, and yet it also has its challenges for Ms. Quick Shift here. So my quest is to see if slowing down will actually add to my productivity?

Do you ever battle with slowing down, surrendering and BE-ing?

A few years back when I went through a re-branding exercise of my business and started looking at how my energy most loves showing up in this world and the best way I find myself helping other people. Why do people seek me out and for what kind of support and help? Whilst I have many clients that have been through a long, deep, slow process with me, more often than not I do shorter zaps of intervention on specific aspects of life, a whole life makeover or a home de-clutter. But it’s usually more of the #quickshift “in and out”. Hence the QUICK SHIFT DEVA (this latter word means shining light). It’s about how do I best support YOU to shine YOUR light, let go of clutter and STEP UP in your world? And let’s not waste too much time getting to the point. Let’s focus on RESULTS.

Yes, yes! I know –  I speak fast, eat fast, enneagram fast, dance fast, laugh fast, learn fast, love fast and move fast. It’s also precisely why I do Yoga where I have to stand STILL and on ONE leg to encourage me to engage and be mindfully present.

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I also like to change fast, move homes fast and don’t muck about too much.

And yes, it comes to bite me on the butt and then time DOES demand that I somehow come to a total standstill and halt. I believe it is not healthy to attempt to CHANGE one’s inherent nature, our natural born talents, strengths and essence and in fact, it goes against every cell in my body. I also know, as per everything in DITCH YOUR GLITCH, that your very point of power can also be your very same point of undoing. So I believe we have to muster up a massive sense of irony, humour, honesty and learn when to temper aspects of ourselves at certain times to prevent burnout, to save face, to restore vitality or to up the ante. I know that we are NOT called on to remain EXACTLY THE SAME day in and day out. Life is an ebb and flow. Just like the sea I’m listening to as it laps gently at my feet while I sip my Greek coffee.

So here I am – on the 3rd largest island in Greece, called Lesvos. On the west coast in a wee fishing village called Skala Eressos. It is famous as the birthplace of the famous poet and teacher Sappho, and as such is very popular with women travelers seeking inspiration and connection from around the world. I am here because of my business partner, Sarah –  I invited her to come and add her very special expertise and magic to my “book writing” mastermind groups in 2015, and we are now on our 3rd group together – and this is where she just happens to live.

It’s often so simple as to why we land up where we do. Why are YOU where you are today?

I was coming to the island to co-run our WRITE YOUR BOOK retreat at the end of June, and then got a call to do some work in Romania a month before. Now why on earth would I travel “back” to the southern hemisphere instead of coming to chill on this island for 3 weeks before the retreat starts? So I find myself here for a total of 4 weeks, adjusting to island life. I am also adjusting QUICKER than I thought possible! 

Ha ha, you get the irony right – Adjusting QUICK to becoming SLOW 🙂

I thought I would really battle for the whole month and here I am on day 4, surprisingly IN the rhythm with just a little coaxing. Most locals wake up for a coffee MAYBE at 8, MAYBE, with breakfast at about 11 ish – which could be a small cookie type thing, then eat some brunch at about 2 pm, a mandatory rest late afternoon, then stay out every night till at least midnight. The taverna’s come to life at night – well so I am told as I’ve been back on my little farm cottage before it gets dark – still getting the hang of cycling on dirt roads – have already fallen on my ass once, laughed at by the four-legged ass who saw me, eeehaaawing at my side. See him below. I am definitely not in ‘party’ mode and I’m in bed by 9 pm as soon as it gets dark. Whoaaaa living the high life hey. So I’m not quite on the local rhythm zone, but I’m already immersed in my own very, very slow and mindful version.

I wake at 5 am, letting the light stream into my room, chatting to the cute black kitty that visits me every morning, mewing for some milk. Then cycle from my farmland cottage along dirt roads to the village in a swimming costume and summer dress hiked up around my thighs as I’m on a “boy” bike with the straight bar across the top (VERY elegant). I meander along to the wee fishing harbor – turquoise and azure blue and there is usually NO-ONE else around so it’s my favorite time of solitude and contemplation. That has always been how I have found a little dose of SLOW my entire life – pockets of time in the early hours of the morning, before all hell breaks loose in my day and other people come alive.

Do YOU have pockets of slow? No matter how short?

Then, I usually have a little wander around, take pictures, watch the fishermen, and reflect on the day past and to come and always start to ponder the bigger picture of “stuff” I’m working on for my business. With an upcoming trip to the USA to launch my speaking and books in the big wide world, I feel my energy leaving the village to the skyscrapers of New York, Boston and Stockbridge. Then I come to my little “favorite spot” – the first coffee shop that opens, where I work for about 3 hours. I can plug my laptop in and access awesome Wi-Fi. This is where I type from right now….

At 10.30 every day there is group of intrepid women “ROCKERS” – we swim out to the big, beautiful rock 400 metres away for a sense of adventure, community and strength building. You can see how far it is in pics below, plus swimmers get a ‘medal” on their first swim. Good way to compensate for all the baklava and spanakopita! My shoulders can tell you how far it is! I have never swum in the sea in this way before – I have been more of a wave-surfing swimmer in the breakers, rather than crossing open water. 800 meters there and back of blissful blue!

 

WANT TO GET STARTED MAKING SOME CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE?

2020 UPDATE! If you feel inspired to start making some small shifts in the direction of a slower life, then the very best way is to get you started with my latest email series – THE STRATEGIC POWER OF DISCONNECTING. Take time out to prevent wipe out!  GRAB IT HERE

I send you deep waves of blue bliss from Skala Eressos,

Kate  #QUICKSLOWSHIFTDEVA