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transformation Archives - Kate Emmerson

Staying sane using the S.E.T. Method

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Please be warned – this is a vulnerable post and even a tad risque in what I share if you get to the end (hangs her head with a laugh). Definitely proceed with a sense of humour.

As we greet the end of January with the delightful promise of new energy and vitality as the Water Tiger pounces on the scene as Chinese New Year unfolds tomorrow, it’s suddenly time for my next insider musings.

Recently I had a wake up reminder (aka love nudge) about how I really do attempt to approach every day. Sometimes it has to be a very conscious application to align with my motto of #LiveLightLiveLarge …and other times it seeps effortlessly into the air I breathe. Today’s musing is about needing to consciously activate the S.E.T Method to regain my own sanity!

As my Nan would say, “pull yourself towards yourself.”

Such an apt saying for this months sharing.

Grab something to drink for your 9-minute read – and please remember to drop me a mail to say how you might tap into the S.E.T Method

When we reached the last few months of ’21 and I took occupation of a gorgeous new flat in Edinburgh, I was deeply inspired from the inside out to write and share more with you. I decided these musings were only going to be for my insider subscribers, and I started putting a lot of energy and personal sharing into them. Your response has been simply phenomenal and your messages kept me inspired to keep at it and for that I am deeply grateful. I post somewhat vulnerable musings from my life, at age 53 and doing my best to live my best life possible with ALL the ups and downs, laughter and ugly cries that go with that. How do I approach life, what do I do for healing, closure, when things go completely awry, and perhaps even this year you will get some dating laughs.


You can read all of those past musings on my blog here with the password LOVE (Yes, in capitals)

Today, speeding northwards on a train to Glasgow and then the most beautiful trip to Oban, I am drawn to share a story from a few weeks ago, as January started unfolding. That Highland Fling ritual I shared last year, had flung a new interesting soul my way, and the précis version of it kind of reads like this…

Mutual client friend has inspired thought to introduce us
Meet interesting soul Mr X
Lure of a kiss and a river
Mountain adventures
Soul connections
Dreaded “C” x 2
Me impersonating Florence Nightingale
Experiencing my own version of Outlander
New festive plans required
Island adventures
Followed by… well, what can I say other than …followed by January.
The oddest of months, right?
For you too?

Here goes: Over New Year I set up my gorgeous new writing and retreat base in this great company of Mr X on the Sacred Isle of Iona and then two weeks later, headed back into Edinburgh city mid January. The dance between the two landscapes suits me very well for this next 3M chapter.

Island girl and city gal. I think I love this vibe…

Onto the point of todays sharing of my SET Method. I’m back in the city and lapping up the New Year. While it’s been a deeply introspective and quiet start for many of you, mine was a lot more active and focused. January turned out to be a profound month of personal productivity, purpose, energy, and clarity about where I’m headed with my passion business and working with women on the threshold of making courageous leaps! I was meeting up with all my wonderful Edinburgh friends, connecting with my local writing group, signing new private coaching clients, booking my Iona Retreats, filling our Greek and Italian Writing Retreats for summer and getting on with my awesome life.

After all I do live an awesome life and after almost 2.5 years of healing and being single I honestly believe sharing it with someone else is a delicious cherry on top – not something to hanker after and chase, yet something I am embracing and calling in. So when it came crashing into my life on all fronts in November, I paid attention, said yes and made space to show up big time.

But after the précis shared above, January has found me sitting with a profound sense of WTF happened, mixed with some sadness and heaps of confusion. I’m missing a beat somewhere. My heart and soul is clearly going through a deep healing process right now. I’m experiencing the gift of what happens when another soul helps us along our journey to become the best version of ourselves.

So my saddened heart story was unfolding alongside all the wonderful vibrant energy. It definitely was NOT derailing me. I have luckily been able to somehow see the experience of that encounter with Mr X as existing in a beautiful metallic singing bowl. At one point that singing bowl emanated the most beautiful music and then this month it has been sitting patiently (mmmm, not always!) and quietly waiting to burst with sound once again. Yet all the while being pretty contained and not spilling out tooooooo much into the rest of my life.

If you have been watching my Instagram lives, you might already know my THEME WORDS for this year are TRUST and EXPANSION.
Trust feels aligned to this lesson and insight for my heart and soul.
Expansion feels very aligned to my business ventures and passion projects.
TRUST means if something or someone is meant to be then nothing will keep it from you, and if something or someone is not meant to be, nothing can make it so.

But that would be far too easy if we could LIVE that in every, single. flipping moment right? Cue some dramatic “dum dum dum” music as I get struck down by the joy and irony of BEING HUMAN!
Thanks universe. No easy ride on this one then?

The singing bowl metaphor went awry and it started leaking!
Messy flowing emotions everywhere.
Feeling distracted, a tad distraught, wanting answers, insights, wanting outcomes…a ‘what the hell is happening here’ kind of vibe.

And here comes the ridiculous laugh at my expense …

I found myself starting to check social media about 20 times day, checking my phone to see ‘who’ was online, behaving like a totally numbskull!

Giving a lot of my energy and time to…well nothing really. Cos nothing was happening other than in my head. The intensity of connection was replaced by nada.

My S.E.T METHOD is how I approach life from both the macro and micro level. Looking at what you need to let go of so that you bring your energy into the present, and from that point you create a fabulous future. It’s the motto of my life and the reason for my business. Letting go, closure, forgiveness, healing, moving on with energy in tact and being able to SIT IN THE GAP that exists between No Longer and Not Yet.

At a daily level I use a slightly more practical approach that can be a faster way to clean up and tackle each day with intention.
S.E.T Method stands for the following:

S = SUCK
E = EQUILIBIRUIM
T = TANTALISING

After about three days of my ridiculous energy-dispersing behaviour, I burst out laughing at myself and decided I needed to put into practice what I know.
AGAIN dear human.

Me muttering to myself, “Kate come on. It’s time to ask yourself the series of question you live by. Let’s get going already…”

  1. WHAT IS SUCKING YOUR PRECIOUS ENERGY?
  2. WHAT WILL BRING YOU SOME EQUILIBRIUM?
  3. WHAT IS TANTALISING TO SAY YES TO RIGHT NOW?

Quite evocative things to ponder with no hint of wishy washy in sight. No Grey!
I needed to stop the obsessions at play under the first SUCK question! Fast.

***FACING THE SUCK
1. I was letting social media eat my time and energy. Constantly checking Insta, Facebook, messages, mail. You know this routine right? I took action and simply muted those certain Instagram Stories and Posts, so they were no longer in my face every time I ventured online. I made a promise to myself to stay off Social Media altogether for 24 hours – something I do regularly but hadn’t been sticking to. DUH!
Next, I put my phone on airplane mode so no one could bug me and I couldn’t go down the rabbit hole for several hours and could focus on re-building my energy internally with nothing SUCKING at it.

Off with you oh comparison social media monster! Sometimes knowing who is doing what, when, where and with whom can be destructive and energy sucking. It is like sugar and alcohol – hard to resist when it’s in the system. Control, Alt, Delete.

2. I fasted for the rest of the day and next morning to get my sugar cravings under control

3. I wrote a quick action plan for the following week to make sure there was nothing pulling at my work energy or fallen off the radar

Ok – I was instantly more in control of the leaking bucket.


***EMBRACING THE EQUILIBIRUM
This is about doing the things that we know are good for our body, heart and soul. The things we ideally need to do often and consistently in order to embrace that sense of calm, balance, and poised equilibrium.

1. I did some yin yoga at home to calm my nervous system

2. I sat and wrote in my journal whole sipping hot lemon ‘n ginger water

3. I energetically tuned into what I really needed to do until I got an answer – ah so simple – walk the city in the morning light and go sit in a church to feel the presence of spirit again.

With that insight I got dressed and embarked on one of the most beautiful walks as the dawn light was playing over Edinburgh. The silhouettes of the buildings and trees were exquisite and healing. I felt gratitude returning to my insides. I walked for hours and then found myself in the main city cathedral. As I walked in the choir was practicing and it was like the angels of the world were singing just to me. I sat and meditated intuitively using the infinity symbol before the service started. Full to the brim with exquisite architecture, healing voices and a calmness seeping out of my pores, I stepped back out into the glorious sunshine.

***YES TO THE TANTALISING

The third part of this three-fold method is about saying YES to some tantalizing aspects– juicy, delicious and energizing things that makes you beam with joy and smile from ear to ear. It has more energy and vibrancy than the embracing of equilibrium. So now, what was I to do?

1. Tantalizing Trick
One of my tricks in new cities to visit the grand old hotels to get a real feeling of the city from yester-year. Just for a simple cup of glorious coffee. They come complete with excellent staff, silver service, in glorious surroundings and far outweigh popping into a regular high street chain for a quick brew. It’s a ritual of immense delight for me.

I found myself walking with a skip in my step to the beautiful Balmoral Hotel on Princes St.

A kilt-wearing doorman (which always makes me smile) greets you and ushers you inside and that morning I was taken to the Palm Room, specifically for morning coffee. Another tartan-clad waiter escorted me to a “throne –like” chair from which I could simply bask in the beauty of this exquisite room. Everything was simply tantalizing – the fine crockery with a delicate green palm pattern, the silver coffee pot and the accompanying Scottish heather shortbread biscuits.

The room had an exquisite tree be-jeweled with fairy lights – I felt like a queen. See pics below. Of course, I had my journal and pen with me so wrote a little bit while basking in the regal Scottish energy.

I have also been activating and stepping up my energy to embrace being more “Queen-like.” This means truly and honestly embodying who I am and what I know, being able to be of real service to people who need my unique kind of help and support. Also knowing that I am ready to call in a “King” to take up place on the throne beside me. I am working on that rather than reducing my standards of what I truly desire for myself. Tough one!

Calling in an aligned partner is a want, a delicious desire, not a need. I come from the premise of living a full life that can get even sweeter with a witness, partner and adventure playmate. I reveled in sitting on that chair in the Balmoral drinking my coffee and dreaming my next phase of life into being, while just savoring every single sip of coffee.

2. Tantalizing Treats
I can’t really believe I’m going to share this right now – but my PROMISE is to be vulnerable and share ALL the ups and downs, highs and lows and be REAL for you when penning these musings!

Walking home to the West End along Princes Street after my morning adventure, I walked the route I have walked a gazillion times living in this city. I walked past the Ann Summers shop – only today I walked IN and straight to the back of the store. If you know what this store is, you know exactly what I bought. Nudge nudge wink wink. If you don’t – use your imagination or Google what the store sells. It was time for some self tantalizing. Oh there is so much I can share from my life but suffice it to say that it was time to take matters into my own hands so to speak, and shift some of this energy I had been grappling with.

Ha ha – yes my mum reads this newsletter too! (Hangs heads and laughs at self on the train as I write this.) Thank goodness I can laugh at myself! Can you?

3. Tantalizing Tootsies
Next I did everything in my power to get my sizzling hot salsa shoes from South Africa. Those sexy heels have been waiting ever so patiently for me. Living out of a suitcase #LocationFree meant that every item of clothing I travelled with for the past 6 years, needed to be clever and multipurpose. Salsa shoes can only be used for dancing, so they never made it into my suitcase and remained in South Africa with my art. Being reunited with them now, thanks to a sweet young friend who popped them in his suitcase, I am armed with the right shoes and my toes at the ready when classes open up again this week in my neighborhood.
I see some tantalizing moves coming up soon – ooh la la. Cue sexy music this time.

So if you made it this far into the read – I am wondering how YOU are going to utilize the S.E.T METHOD to stay on top of your own world. It’s so simple …

Get rid of what is SUCKING at your energy
Embrace and restore inner EQUILIBRIUM
Say yes to something TANTALIZING

I hope you got a wee laugh today and another practical nugget to use practically in your life. Till next month, enjoy February with the new Tiger energy in the month of LOVE.

With Lightness,
Kate

READY TO EMBRACE YOUR NEXT CHAPTER?

I am fascinated with helping you make courageous leaps at significant moments in life transitions. Perhaps it’s a big birthday beckoning soon, a new chapter approaching, a project ending, your home being sold, an empty nest looming, divorce or death to process and you need a fresh perspective to help you close out the old and welcome in the new? I am also currently mentoring new coaches getting started with their coaching business models – with over 19 years of coaching, mentoring, speaking, facilitating experience as well as 5 published book and a movie under my professional belt – I find it super easy to support new coaches in the right direction to gain traction, impact and clients FAST!

Please reach out to me directly on kate@kate-emmerson.com to start a conversation.

PLUG IN OR PUSH OFF – it’s all about RESPECT

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Plug in or Push off!

My October newsletter comes from Edinburgh and it’s a quick lesson from my recent life. I hope you find something in it for yourself today.

Grab your tea coffee, wine or juice and enjoy a 9 minute read.

Plug IN or push OFF
It was the joy of truth when we need it …and boy did I ever need it. Is there anyone out there telling you just how things are? My recent session went like this.

“Why are you there, what’s your connection to Scotland Kate?” he asked me.

“Well, I have always loved it from my first visit over 30 years ago. I feel spiritually connected to it, love the drama of the awesome landscape, have heritage here and my third name is Walker. I just love this country”

“Well… it doesn’t look like it. You are kind of being disrespectful to the Scots right now and you need to plugin. You have to match the energy of the country and what it epitomizes and then work outwards from there!”

Eeeck. Slap. Reality check …and so began the session with my healer. We used this insight as our starting point.

I was told in no uncertain terms that I was not FULLY plugged into where I currently am. I’m not in Greece where the sun and warm water surround me – I’m in Scotland. Plant myself there or leave. Simple.

Ouch.

Pathetic

I typically pride myself on being wherever I am, and living #LocationFree means I embrace and adapt to changes quite fast – USUALLY.

I have chosen Scotland for this winter 21/22.

Brrr!

Double Brrrrrrr!

Triple rain!

Quadruple grey!

I LOVE Scotland.

In my September newsletter I shared how I approach life using the 3m Principle. Readers LOVED it. I was quite taken aback by the overwhelming response. Oh yeah, baby – living it up in Edinburgh for this particular 3m and getting others to think about the 3m approach too. I even got clients coming to work with me on the 3m process.

Yet suddenly I wasn’t plugged in, tuned in or aligned. My entire body was reacting to it!

I was trying – doing my best. So I thought. But it had started…the familiar pull of the “hole” about a week after I moved into my gorgeous apartment. I think most of us have our own version of “the hole.” Whether it’s full-blown Black Dog, (aka depression) or anything on that spectrum where things are just totally out of whack and off-kilter. At some point the world tilts a degree too far and we can all lurch there.

The short and sweet lesson and reason for today’s sharing is simply:
BE WHERE YOU ARE AND PLUG IN … OR PUSH OFF!

If my story or the way I look at life helps YOU to do something differently in your life – how wonderful. Clients, colleagues and friends tell me that my musings help them! So I keep showing up and sharing.

Warning: Part of who I am is to share honestly. I always have. From the awesome highs to the awful lows. The good and the bad. Middle ground is challenging for me. Sometimes life is easy and sometimes it’s shite. I grapple hugely with self-worth, intermittent depression and sometimes totally lose my way. I also have huge dreams and ideals supported by courage, honesty and freedom as my top values. So I get up again and keep looking ahead to the light.

Charlie Mackesy is one of my go- to-reads to his enormous reminder of self-compassion!

Sharing my life helps me – and I know it helps others out there.

I also know being vulnerable makes me kinder, more real and ultimately better at helping/ coaching/ mentoring others. If you want to read more about what was going on and love hearing about how I handle stuff because you can translate it to something useful for yourself- then grab some tea or wine and walk a little further into the story with me.

THE PULL OF THE HOLE

Before my session with my trusted energetic healer, I could feel myself edging closer to the hole. It was leering at me from up ahead and I had a clear visual image. It was almost laughing at me. Challenging me. For a while thought I was on top of it all. I told myself I was managing to circumnavigate it this time.

A few factors had simultaneously prodded some deep patterns awake that ensure I question my self worth, ignite my imposter syndrome and make me question everything about life and my choices. I was veering off course and denial was kicking in.

I was feeling:

Little

Invisible

Tired

Lacking

Aching

Impatient

Uncertain

Hopeless

I had just made awesome yet mammoth decisions, implemented changes and was at a huge crossroads (like many folk in these times). I was aware of it and how these cycles have sneaked up on me and attacked me in the past. I reached out. First I got some body support. Remember that neighbourhood FB group I mentioned as a way of connecting in to a new area – well someone recommended an osteopath just two minutes walk away from my home.

He gently eased my body back into shape with a twist here and a prod there while asking me some tough questions to ponder. Grrrr. Don’t you both love and hate it when the right buttons are lovingly pushed?

He was suggesting my body pain had been “torqued” (more like tortured) by all the emotional stuff going on. Go figure.

Nothing was cogging together. No flow.
Muchos pain and muchos buckets of tears!
Copious wine!

I also booked a session with a homeopath for another layer of support, but had to wait three weeks to see her. “Oh I’ll be fine till then,” I thought delusionally and told those who asked.

I often wonder why humans tend to underestimate the gravity of change. Even when we have willingly put ourselves in the situation – all the other parts of our body, heart and soul still have to catch up and land in the same place. That can take some time to settle through all the different layers.

While part of me thought I was living the life in Edinburgh, embracing my latest 3m – a larger part of me was pretty much running away, staying home most of the time. Hiding out a bit. Being mean to myself and berating my choices when things weren’t shifting as fast as I had hoped.

My timing vs. diving timing.

Ego and impatience vs. source.

I had rented this gorgeous flat in the city centre and already started building a writing community. That should have been enough! Then I had booked a writing retreat to be run within a month of moving into my flat. And cold water swims, salsa, and attending other writing events. Meeting many new folk. Crazy right? But I wanted to connect and meet lots of people and live my very best 3m dammit.

I thought I had made peace with where I was.

But that hole was now becoming way more magnetic and it was swirling a devilish dance – beckoning me in just one more time. Maybe that hole is my version of crack or heroin? My own addiction. A way to pull me off course and keep me small?

But most people don’t share this stuff right? They only put out the brave and bold stuff to the world. OR the front of social media. Truth is, I didn’t want my people to worry. But people who care about you know when stuff isn’t right. Instinctively. I can’t get anything past my mum and close friends.

Even so, sometimes it just feels easier to retreat. I was getting dangerously close to succumbing to that hole.

And then I stumbled and fell in.

Splat.

I was feeling shocking at all levels. My moods were erratic, I was drinking tooooo much wine (and could no longer blame lockdown right) and spending too much time at home on my own in my lovely nest. Every night. I even slept and read for one whole day during the week – simply not able to face the world and canceled all appointments. My mental health was not coping. My emotional body was aching. Muscles and joints were sore. All too much. I kept seeing the osteopath as I knew it was helping.

A day or two after succumbing to the hole, the homeopath session finally arrived. I know that modality helps me at a cellular level to balance hormones and mood. Contrary to popular belief, homeopathy can work with both acute and chronic issues, and I needed some fast-dose remedies. I have not had a general GP for more than 30 years other than to get blood tests signed off or asthma pumps when needed. My go-to form of support is to treat “like with like”. I trust the field of homeopathy instinctively. You know what works for you too right?

It was Friday. After a morning session crying and wincing on the osteopath’s table, I then blabbed for 90 minutes to the homeopath. I didn’t care how crazy I sounded – I just purged it ALL out. I swear I went through a tube of mascara in one day.

What a relief to be heard and seen with zero judgment.

Like a giant hug from a teddy bear!

I was sent home with some acute remedy doses of GOLD – even just the thought of imbibing gold (known as Aurum) made me feel like anything was perhaps possible again. I had a ladder out the hole again. “Gold” was designed to pull all of me back together. That was the problem- I felt like I was totally split and none of me was in the same place. I could feel my energetic, physical, emotional and mental bodies were all swirling around and none of them were aligned IN my body.

Literally, the next morning I woke up feeling a slight shift in my energy. I had also gone to bed repeating gratitude and prayers. I got up and cleaned my flat from one end to the next. A deep clean. I tackled it with energy and the intention to literally shift the space. I even turned my mattress over. Swept, dusted, hoovered and mopped every nook and cranny. Washed, ironed and replaced bedding. I loved every single corner of my home knowing I was loving myself stronger too. Scrubbing clean and starting afresh. Then fell into a deep, therapeutic sleep for a few hours.

It was a small turning point and one step on the ladder.

Three days later was that healing session where I was told I am not plugged-in to where I am! It was all about timing as I was now in a place to hear it clearly. My body and emotional state was a lot better from three days of homeopathic treatments.

I GOT IT.

As he spoke those words to me, I could see how I had been saying one thing but feeling another. Longing for the warmth, longing for sunshine, longing for the Aegean and long days of light. Even thinking of how much I loved short, colourful linen dresses and flip flops, oversized sunglasses and a wide brim hat. Berry lipstick and lingering kisses. Longing for anywhere energetically that wasn’t Scotland.

So I simply wasn’t aligned in what I was saying, doing and believing. No wonder I was being tossed around in the washing machine of life.

Sometimes we just need to hear it like it is.

It was PLUG IN OR PUSH OFF time!

Align or release.

What’s it going to be?

Truth with compassion and understanding is a powerful trait.

Either be here fully or don’t. We can’t be here wishing we were somewhere else. Or with someone else. And that’s the truth of life. You have to fully embrace where you are – the job, relationship, country or any situation you find yourself in. RIGHT NOW.

The choice is to embrace it, make peace with it and love it to ensure you re-plug in or do something to change it or leave.

BE WHERE YOU ARE.

Simple but not always easy.

We need to know how to move between expansion and contraction. I had to remember to match the energy of Scotland and embrace it before I could ever hope to have an impact on it or be impacted by it.

Embrace then shift.

I have painstakingly climbed up all the rungs on the ladder out the hole, and I do feel a bit tender and vulnerable. I also feel it’s important to share. Sharing might help someone else. Maybe you? There is NO weakness in asking for help, and we might need it from a couple of sources.

Do you want a chuckle now?

As soon as I plugged in and embraced the shift internally, I was able to play it out externally. The ”girlie” reality is that I realized I needed some sassy clothing to embrace winter in Scotland in the city.

Not just gym gear, jeggings, trainers and bulky three layers to cold-proof myself.

I needed to have some clothing to help me feel sassy to entice me back out. To dare to venture out at night for a glass of wine or the local salsa classes.

I realised I had been dreading going out or felt kind of frumpy when I did. Yikes – no wonder I wasn’t plugged into and respecting Scotland.

So here is the trick – I had to get the internal ENERGETIC shift first, and then I could spiral it through to my outside world.

As a minimalist with a capsule wardrobe, I was taught by my stylist friends to be clever about mix ‘n matching. Everything works cohesively to ensure the minimum number of clothes that can be worn in several different ways.

I chose winter neutrals with a pop of colour. Black cream and silver with cerise.

Sexy Boots with a thin flash of Zebra pattern for attitude

Amazing leather biker jacket with a floaty dress

Sensual cream blouse that fits perfectly

A sexy skirt above the knee worn with stockings

Soft cuddly jumper (to emulate that kind hug)

Fluffy cashmere pompom hat and gloves.

Ooh la la I think I’m ready.

I have always heard the expression… “There is no such thing as bad weather in Scotland, just bad clothing.”

HELLO UNICORN ENERGY!

This morning I put on my short skirt and asymmetrically-cut fluffy jumper and literally pranced out the house. I even bought an umbrella so I don’t have to think about a clumpy raincoat all the time.

I strutted down the road and literally felt people respond to me. The Scottish national animal is the unicorn and I’m calling in that feeling of possibility, playfulness and magic. People respond to energy right – it’s not about what you look like but what you feel like. And boy do I feel some sense of swagger back in my step.

I might never fully know why this particular transition hit me so hard. So many complex factors came together all at once. But I do know that alignment is key. I have made new promise and commitment to my support team to have quarterly tune-ups or more where needed! Sessions booked in advance! The aim is to tweak ahead of time to help me walk around the hole and not fall IN it too often. And back on track with being mentored.

And now I’m going to pop on a lovely black wool coat, embrace the cold air and go out dancing.

Wishing you light at the end of your tunnel today
Love Kate


DO YOU NEED TO PLUG IN NOW?

Are you blessed with someone in your life that reflects yourself back to yourself, steering around your blind spots? A trusted advisor or wise mentor who has been where you are and who has skills and ability to get you to where you want to go?

Perhaps you know I’m the person who will get you! It would be an honour to help you through this chapter of transition in your life to find your sassy self again. If you happen to come work with me in either Edinburgh or Iona over the next few months, you might get to appreciate my capsule wardrobe with your own eyes! No there’s a thought.

Pop me a mail about exploring working with me on a personal retreat or a 3-month silo to embrace and implement changes in life and business.

Please mail me directly to set up a chat on kate@kate-emmerson.com

Honoring the Call of Closure

By Insights to help you #quickshift, Transformational Journeys, Transformational thoughts

Honoring the Call of Closure

A pilgrimage to the heart of the lonely gap that exists between
NO LONGER … and … NOT YET.

If you find yourself reading this post, then you probably already know me and my work and want to know what I have been up to, or someone has suggested you come and read it. Don’t curse them when you see the length – they have their reason and must love you enough to give you this nudge along your path. If you want the shortened Haiku (5-7-5) version so you can get the gist and move on with your day – here goes:

Pause and honor life

Connect to the sacred pulse

Embrace threads of love

This blog is a bit (well um, a lot) longer than normal, so grab a cuppa’ or a tall glass of something delicious to drink, and come walk with me for a wee while.

We are off to a remote island…on a pilgrimage. Not an island holiday – but a deep immersion to challenge life head-on, and to be curious about what I might find there. Scary as hell, but exciting as heck.

I would like to mention right up front that this feels like a deeply personal sharing. I feel called to document and attempt to do justice to the mammoth journey I have recently immersed in. While I tackle everything I embark on in life with mindful awareness, (along with a massive dose of salt and humor), this one has been exceptionally profound. Trust your gut whether to read on or not…

I guess it’s the layered convergence of a few things: the location I journeyed to for my pilgrimage, what I came to do and why, and the timing of it. I’m not simply referring to July 2020, stuck with the rest of the world before, during and after the ‘easing up” of restrictions, but more so from a personal juncture in my life and all the threads that were weaving together at this time. Or more accurately the threads that were “un-raveling and un-weaving simultaneously” at 52 years old.

 

There are two forms of courage in this world. One that demands we jump into action with our armor on. The other demands that we strip ourselves bare-naked and surrender. Bravery

is a curious thing. Jeff Brown

 

#The Quiet Beckons

Are you perhaps there right now and also needing to stop a while to sit with the un-weavings in your life?

These moments in time are what many traditions call ‘initiations’. A time to walk through the doorway of personal transformation. A new chapter. To re-evaluate. Reset. To go into the cave no matter what you find there. Many loosely refer to this a time of retreat (but some folk think that a retreat is simply a time of rest in a lovely setting – that is a holiday). When these particular times beckon us, we have to go directly INTO the fire in order to be transformed. There is no walking around it. No pussyfooting or side-stepping. Perhaps for a while, you can ignore or pause it. But not indefinitely, as the rumble and rattle of the call will inch deeper and deeper into your cells, relentlessly. If repeatedly put off, then life will figure a way to throw you down in your own tracks in order to get your attention. It could be in the way of illness, death, divorce, financial ruin, being retrenched, or global scale disasters – hello virus. A lot of the time it just feels overwhelmingly scary, inappropriately timed and miraculously something else will just win the battle for priority. For now!

Lack of money, time-poor, kids’ demands, partner’s needs, work obligations and our inner voice protesting that we cannot possibly indulge in and follow the call to ”take time out”. I have often looked on enviously at those who live more within the tradition of wise cultures, where ceremony and ritual is embedded into their lives and they follow the rhythm of nature, seasons and sun, moon cycles every day. I have tried, somewhat unsuccessfully I might add, to create that for myself over the years. To carve out time to immerse in things that matter to me. To live closer to the rhythm of life. To create a little “altar” of things that matter to me when I travel. To wake up with the sun in my room and sleep early. But I have also spent five years of summers in a row, never getting the quieter rest time of winter, which can play havoc with circadian cycles. Sometimes I try and follow daily rhythm because it’s the only thing I know how to do. At other times I have been led into that journey of remembering by someone else on my path – be it partner, friend or teacher.

#My Travelling Altar

I know this for sure, we are all here to evolve, expand, learn and transform. The flip side means that it also requires the polar opposite to close out, let go, contract and move on. We need both these sides of the spectrum to fully embrace and live our highest life.

I heeded the call.

I embarked on a solo pilgrimage to a minute, remote island called Iona. It’s really a wee rock at just 1.5 miles by 3 miles where only residents are allowed cars. You can’t even walk all the circumference of the island, as it is so wild, craggy and difficult in places. With only 120 or so permanent residents who brave life all year round, this swells massively to about 175 000 pilgrims and visitors annually (not in Covid times of course). Some visit for just a few hours between ferry crossings from Mull, just time enough to walk the ancient path from pier to the Abbey that dominates the landscape – to taste the wild isle and stand awestruck in front of the carved Celtic crosses or visit King’s graves. Perhaps be lucky enough to grab the famous cream tea at the Argyll Hotel, or stare at the Sound of Iona scanning for dolphins and seals from the St Columba’s garden tables, munching an organic salad and local “hogget” burger. Nowadays you can even rent a lovely bike. Ha-ha – be warned – they have no gears and you have to backpedal to break, but you get the hang of it pretty fast and it’s a total delight to wheel past the shore and explore the island.

 

But for these day-trippers it’s more of a fleeting visit to tick off the bucket list. It may plant the seed to promise to return … one day. But it in no ways allows you to soak up the healing energy here. One of my favorite times of day is when the last ferry has backed off the pier and you can feel the island exhale and settle into its silent womb again. Everyone you see from then on has the privilege of staying put for the night.

#Carved Crosses Loom in the Landscape

A warm envelope of quiet love and immense possibility descends.
Such is the lure of this sacred isle. A wee isle with monumental power. Within the wild elementals of this ancient Celtic land with deep Christian roots, it is said that the “veil between the two worlds is very thin”. Meaning you always feel more closely connected to the spiritual world here. It feels more accessible no matter how disconnected you are when you arrive. If you have never heard of Iona, I lovingly laugh and mean no disrespect when I say it’s the “ass-end of nowhere”, whereas in actual fact it feels like the center of the universe to those of us who venture here. You usually feel “called” to visit to be honest, as you don’t just happen upon this island one day. Getting here is somewhat of a mammoth pilgrimage all in itself. Part of the shedding process of the external skin.

 

When the ancient mystery of Iona has beckoned, the journey starts the moment you make the decision to answer that call. The energy starts weaving from that point on. But when you first set physical eyes upon it from the pier at Fionnphort on the Ross of Mull – it’s easy to feel a bit let down and disappointed. SO SMALL? That’s it? This is what I traveled all this way for? Mmm – don’t be so easily fooled by appearances.

 

When you have rested your weary head under these stars, it’s impossible to leave as the
same person that arrived. Ever!

 

So I have penned this blog for heartfelt personal reasons, as a way to capture some essence of this recent experience for myself. Firstly to inform myself by writing it down, which creates another layer of processing it all and living it again. And secondly, if by reading it, you too happen to be inspired to embark on a similar kind of pilgrimage or retreat process one day, or this becomes your beckoning call to Iona– then how lovely will that be for both of us?

 

To put my experience bluntly – I feel like a snake that has shed a few skins.

 

I think I look the same, sound the same, walk the same, laugh the same and eat and drink just as much as ever, but I FEEL different. The old adage of “pull yourself towards yourself lass” rings in my ears and my heart. That was the point after all. I have not been on some massive diet, makeover or had a new photoshoot. Quite the opposite to be honest as it’s been a deep-dive journey into the cave of CLOSURE. Wild, windswept hair, zero make-up most days, crying, laughing, dancing, singing to recently shawn sheep and mostly sitting, staring at the splendid views and …being. Finding a spot to plonk down and do what I came to do. The inner work. Usually clad with about 5 layers of clothes on for all sorts of rapidly changing weather. A vest, gym top, jacket, gilet-puffer and a supposedly waterproof outer later. (Yes mum, it isn’t quite doing its job and I’m often a cold, wet mess). The next minute I’ll be stripped down to my vest only, and then it’s all piled back on again in a flash. Plenty of workouts in that process, at least ten times day!

 

I had one directive – do the inner work in rain, gales or shine. A three-week gap. I needed to get away with myself, to be by myself, to fall in love with myself again. There was a much deeper purpose to this specific retreat.

I had found myself in the challenging place of NO LONGER …but…NOT YET!

 

My watchful #AngelOwl 

What do you say when someone asks you what you “do”, and you no longer love most of what once brought you deep joy, satisfaction and energy? When you feel that even as the words come out your mouth it’s confusing because there are so many facets to what you do? I was watching and witnessing words come out my mouth that simply didn’t resonate with me anymore. Over the years, my business has at different times been very niched, then morphed and generalized, only to be re-niched and rebranded again, then generalized ad Infinitum. I understand that the natural expansion and contraction of business emulates nature. And here I was at the point of needing to contract once again.

 

 

 

Consciously contract.
The bigger the expansion, the bigger the contraction, right?

I was starting to feel increasingly confused by myself; too fragmented, disjointed and discombobulated. Honestly, a bit bored of my work, myself and a little disinterested in life. It’s a real killer for me to confess that. I was all over the place both literally and figuratively and just way too busy. But busy with what exactly? There were immense pockets of joy and delight too – don’t get me wrong. It was just that whenever I “hovered” over my life and looked in from the outside, I knew that it was NOT what I wanted to be feeling, doing or living into anymore. Something was shifting but I hadn’t caught up with myself yet.

 

I truly believe that just because you ONCE loved doing something, loved your work/career/business, loved a home, or your country, loved another person, etc., that it doesn’t mean you still do love it. Or even if you do still love it now, it doesn’t automatically mean that you always will feel the same way in the future. Yet we want to hold onto that idea for some reason.

Never letting go.

Fear of moving on.

Hold on tight now.

 

That realization that you once DID love it in past tense doesn’t make it wrong that you no longer do love it. Or that it was a waste of time or a bad decision.
What if it simply means you no longer love what you once did? Just because you are brilliant at something doesn’t mean you still love to do it. What if that “thing” has just run its course, had its time, done its job and now it’s an opportunity to move on. Can it hold the space of both – you used to love it and simply no longer do. Except it never feels that simple as we have to dismantle it all somehow. Piece by piece.

 

It’s time to embrace the gap that exists after “no longer?” And the only way we finally reach the
gap is to honor the parts that are no longer.

 

But that’s quite difficult to explain to other folk. Even more so at this specific time in our collective, worldwide experience of the pandemic. Such horrid pain, brutal economic crisis, people’s lives falling apart or lives ending in greater numbers right now. Where the current feeling and directive is that we should be bloody grateful for any work we have and do what we can to keep it, right?

 

Definitely NOT a time to be choosing, re-evaluating, assessing life and not working as much. It’s the time to HOLD ON and sit tight. Or what if this is THE PERFECT TIME because of it?

 

More so than ever I feel we are being called to live into our truth, our dreams, our yearnings and what makes our hearts sing. To do what we can to pursue our passions and find a way to need less stuff along the way. You got that lesson from Covid right? How much of the nonsense we consume and buy has not much meaning after all –and in fact family, health, connection, and heart stuff is what really matters? Can we finally need less stuff, but choose to experience life more?

 

I appreciate that right now many folk are up against the wall trying to make ends meet, or fight for their lives. Do more, earn more, feed families, and handle heartache of separation and losing jobs.

We are holding on, digging deep, and sitting tight. Panicking. Feeling deep pain and loss.

But I often choose to go against the grain – or let’s rather say that it chooses me. As much as I feel I too should be “panicking” or anxious about what is next, what is my work going to look like, where in the world is next, will a partner come along, will I ever afford to buy a home in a Euro-based economy after South Africa and how am I going to survive if I am walking away from so much I have done for the past 17 years. Those are real fears to face head-on. But still, this nagging idea of just taking time to do the work would not leave me alone.

 

#Prayer

After being in lockdown for four months (and dealing with testing positive for Covid where I got off lightly to be honest, with just a few days of symptoms) it was time to follow this call as soon as the opportunity arose. So although I had been on forced pause along with the rest of the world, I needed a more intentional pause. I just needed to go into the cave and immerse.

I am acutely aware that the idea of taking time off might seem very self-indulgent to you – but to me it was actually a matter of sanity. Because doing this retreat and pilgrimage was not the easy option! The easy option would have been to stay hunkered down with my mum, eat delicious food and quaff vino, kick back into gear and start a new project, coaching clients, launch the next online mentorship and get cracking with booking people on our retreats for 2021. I can manufacture energy and enthusiasm to get back up, get busy and soldier on the same as always. To keep at it, be productive and out there. That’s the easier, more common choice. It always has been for me. So that left me in a quandary as over the past few years it has left me feeling flatter and flatter every time. My nickname has been KickassKate for many years – but I no longer felt like kicking my own ass into gear, or anyone else’s for that matter.

Where does that leave me, or you?

I wanted to feel the JOY and energy and be IN LOVE with all of my life again. To feel the sparkle in my eyes burst out of my body – when the truth was that was NOT how I was feeling. I was wading through sludge. A personal bog like the peaty ones here on the island. The words that were coming to me more and more, in sleep and wake, were simply …

I’m DONE!

 

KickassKate  – NOT. Kate was tired and burnt out. No more to give to clients – what used to be my soothing balm (aka work) was just not soothing for me anymore. Dammit. I knew in my soul that I was no longer in love with all I had created, but I wanted to find a way to honor it all and take with me the parts and aspects that I DO still love.

I didn’t want to throw the proverbial baby out with the murky bathwater.

That’s why most folk don’t do it. In fact, for about three years on and off I hadn’t been doing it. I’d been tinkering with it – but not immersing. I had been feeling it, needing it, yearning for it, but not quite yet doing it all. I activated some aspects of contracting (vs. expanding) and saying NO – like selling off one part of my business to a beautiful client who is loving it all into better existence again. Or by deciding not to re-certify with an international organization to deliver their material. A tough one, as I love the organization and it had afforded me some incredible experiences around the world by running high-end retreats for their forums, or doing 5-star events with them. I was also “contracting” by not taking on as many coaching clients and referring them out to trusted colleagues. But it didn’t feel drastic enough and I didn’t love enough of the elements I was still choosing to keep in my busy work bundle. And there was the other stuff going on for me too… that’s life!

 

MY LIFE WAS COLLIDING…

  1. I desperately needed to re-look my business and work passion
  2. It was time to embrace no longer being part of a “we” and facing life in a new country as an “I” – a real rift in identity.
  3. I was bidding farewell to the Rainbow Nation country that gifted me a beautiful home since the age of 3.

 

#Double Rainbow Prayer

In other words, I needed to shed a few different skins all at once. A somewhat daunting triangle.

My PURPOSE for returning to this sacred isle of Iona on pilgrimage was to close out and honor this complex triangle.  To disentangle and disconnect from these three aspects of life.  To find a way to say goodbye to and appreciate what was no longer, so I can finally sit in that GAP that exits before what comes next. That place we often gloss over.

We don’t really get taught how to dismantle and deconstruct our life, do we? 

So I came to Iona exactly one month ago today, with bravery and daftness in my wee heart, resigned to sitting on my butt no matter where I found myself on the island and DOING THE WORK.

 

THE PRACTICAL SIDE:

I couldn’t believe my “luck”.

Back in the UK Midlands where my Mum lives, I noticed a three-week GAP where I could take off from work without any obligations. Whoa – no obligations – what’s that? No mentorships, boot camps, coaching clients that could go on momentary pause, a new writer’s contract was all signed and sealed and thanks to Covid, no upcoming retreats to dash off to host in a far off land. The hardest part of the decision was not so much around post-Covid safety of travel to be honest – as things were easing up and opening again. The challenge was the reality of “taking time off.”Just because the gap shows itself, doesn’t mean I usually take it. I normally fill it with work, of course! You too?

It was challenging to decide to ignore emails and daring to tell/ask/beg my business partner I needed and wanted three weeks offline. We had no writing challenges, no Feedback Fridays – nobody really needed me for ANYTHING! Bliss.

As an entrepreneur, all my life, one of the hardest ideas is to take sufficient time off. Over the last five years or so, I have learned to work fewer weekends and take a bit of a break either side of big work projects, perhaps a few days here and there. But to be honest over the past 17 years, I could never go more than 3 days without looking at my computer, phone, mail or FB. And when you do what you love it’s also much easier to be ON all the time.

You can bet the fears still rushed right at me in all forms:
Is it really, really safe to travel so soon?
I’m eating into my money fast at the poor ZAR currency conversion.
Who the hell am I to do this?
What if someone needs me? (Oh please need me)
What will others think blab la bla?
Will mum be ok on her own – I can’t just pop back if I leave

But I started dreaming about this wee island every night and it started weaving its spell again from the moment I gave it a glance in the realm of possibility. It had been 17 years since I last set foot upon Iona!

I had no idea if or when we would really be able to travel from UK to Scotland, but I started making tentative plans. The UK and Scottish Government announced new measures, and I had to heed both restrictions. Fast forward a few weeks and I was on a train, masked up and double sanitizer on hand.

It was all a bit surreal. Only two other people on the train platform. Only 4 in the carriage to Glasgow. The first stop was a legally operating hotel in Oban, then the ferry to Mull, and next a bus across Mull where I was the ONLY passenger. I got to natter all the way to the driver. From 3 meters away of course. The poor lad had spent four months driving his bus back and forth twice every day for a 70 minute trip with no passengers: just parcels, shopping, wool and supplies for the house-bound locals. Talk about a driving meditation with no cars and just a few sheep and highland cattle to look out for on the single lane track. Suddenly having a real person to carry was such a novelty – so much so that he forgot to open the hold for my suitcase when we arrived in Fionnphort and was about to turn around and drive merrily off. Hey, wait up there Steve.

 

#Surreal Travel

And then there is the final Calmac ferry before you can set foot on Iona.

The power of showing up somewhere always amazes me. The initial cottage I had secured for 6 weeks had fallen through a few days before traveling. Covid measures meant they needed it back to isolate guests. I was planning 3 weeks of intense retreat and an extra 3 weeks to start writing again. So my wonderful friend, DF, back from when I worked on the island 18 years ago in the summer of 2002, kindly helped secure me a new spot. But for 2 weeks only. I knew I had to let go of all plans, anticipated outcomes and just BE THERE to allow the magic of Iona to find me – I hoped. My life motto, and specifically living location free for almost 4.5 years, is that you can’t know everything before you go.

 

I am now in my third accommodation and have been here for a month today!

 

 

THE PROCESS TO FREEDOM – WHAT I DID

  1. Set time aside and had a crystal clear intention.
  2. Told my patient business partner I was going offline and to please NOT bug me for work for three weeks (we had one wee emergency that took all of three minutes, and even did an interview as it was pure fun and delight)
  3. Told my current coaching clients I was taking three weeks off. Eeek.
  4. Just disappeared off FB. No big song and dance announcing what I was up to. I just did it and went offline. Biggest relief of all.
  5. Stayed OFF email, Facebook and ALL other Social Media platforms for three weeks.
  6. Reached out to friends and family as and when needed. I wasn’t doing a full silent retreat so was happy to interact a bit when needed. Just not with clients or work.
  7. My phone lived on airplane mode 90% of the time.
  8. Interacted with locals when I felt drawn to – fascinating people live here!
  9. 90% of the time, I was however on my own, in silence.
  10. Every day I slept, walked, swam, ate, napped and read as I felt like.
  11. I never felt compelled to listen to any music, audiobooks or such like. Just nature, wind, waves and me.
  12. Devoured 10 books that I found in the cottage – good rollicking Scottish romances, moving memoirs, deeply powerful Shamanic books – all sorts to immerse in when I needed a break to let my process stew.
  13.  8-10 hours daily I DID MY PROCESS. And it continued in my sleep. Letting it all seep slowly into my soul.

 

Mostly, I reveled and rejoiced in the depths of NOT doing anything or needing to BE anywhere at any given time. No one needed anything from me. That’s pure bliss. My modus operandi was to do what I wanted when I wanted. For the first three days I also made things a bit more intense for myself. Ha – of course we have to push a bit to get results.

On the day I arrived, I shared dinner and some vino to reconnect with my friend and her partner. Armed with delicious Italian pasta and lamb ragu in my tummy, the next morning I started a rigorous 3-day water fast to kick start my body and soul. That means ONLY WATER mixed with a bit of lemon, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup (for the blood-brain barrier). I’m pretty used to some shorter fasting so it wasn’t tooooo much of a shock to my system. I was a determined little beast on a mission. After my initial water fast, I kept up intermittent fasting for about 16 hours every day to help support the inner work I was doing. And ate what I felt like for the rest of the time. No booze for the first 10 days to up the ante.

I went swimming EVERY DAY. No matter the weather! 

You might think Scotland sounds drab, cold and dreary – but oh my – the color of the water up here. The astounding beauty that is the Hebridean islands. A photographer’s delight! Think intense azure blue and liquid aqua with the shimmering Iona light that bounces through it. The sound of Iona can look like sheets of silver glass, punctuated with a dolphin fin or a sailboat, or it can rage wild and thrash on the rocks, hiding the pure white sand or the craggy rocks at high tide.

But by swimming, I really just mean that I got wet in the freezing Atlantic or the Sound of Iona. Wim Hof and his cold-water therapy principles inspired me, but deep inside I am really the gal that grew up swimming in the warm Indian Ocean with the Benguela current. Toasty warm. The mild Mediterranean is my other favorite swim spot thanks to our annual Greek writing retreats. When I lived in Cape Town, I never did quite cotton on to swimming, as it was mind-numbingly cold for me. I’m just not a cold-water salmon kind of gal.

On day one, my version of swimming involved running in, plunging my body in the water, squealing and shrieking loudly and running out gasping. Probably wet for less than 3 seconds, to be honest. I thought – come on you sissy – this is a great cleansing practice. A ritual. Why don’t we try to double it every day till you get to ten minutes? Are you mad? Because now I am talking to myself out loud. Shivering. Come on – we can use the power of the water to enhance what we are trying to do here with our spirit Kate. Aaaargh ok dammit, you win, you damn voice in my head.

So the game was on, and the next day I ran in and while gasping ridiculously, I counted to 10 seconds. FAST. Day 3 – 30 seconds later made me feel like I had just run a 5 km race. The next day 4 was a big jump to 2 minutes. Then 5, 8, and 10 minutes day-by-day. In just one week I reached my 10-minute hurdle. Now I’m up to 15 minutes. It’s just about the BREATHING (ok, I still mean gasping) and counting, breath by breath. The body is incredibly resilient and adaptable. I am not in the running for any frozen lake swimming or artic jaunts, but I feel so invigorated by it. Like a little personal challenge. We won this one.

On day 4, I was looking into the mirror after thawing out in the warm shower, and SAW myself looking back at me for the first time in a very long time! Rather than simply looking in the mirror while usually putting on some mascara, moisturizer or lipstick, I was suddenly aware of ME. I truly saw ME in the reflection. I peered deeply into my own eyes (sounds so cliché) and said hello to myself at last. I had been missing for a while. Missing from myself. Missing from life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


#Daily Swimming 

It was like a little jolt of reality and I felt I was back IN my body again.

I went back and looked at the Wim Hof shower challenge where they ask you to get up to 1 minute in a cold shower by the end of a MONTH. Pah – what a lark. I was officially a hard-core cold-water swimmer compared to that standard. And again when I say swim, this is not what I do in Greece when swimming 400 meters to my “rock”. Here I just dunk my body in the shallows and wallow there, head out, gasping and trying to calm my breath while staring at the view, going tingly numb. Mad huh?

I also have to confess that I swim in the nick – again purely for practical reasons. It’s not one of my fantasies playing out in any way – it’s purely because I don’t want to trudge back to my wee cottage with a dripping costume. That feels too much of a stretch in the cold, rainy, misty and wild 12-degree weather in summer. I know my limits – so I am basking in the idea of being a Scottish seal for a while, cavorting in the shallow water when no one is around 🙂

But for the most part, I was really living by the rhythm of my body’s needs. Or collecting beautiful rock and stones 🙂

I also walked and hiked every day – no matter the weather! Usually 6 kinds of weather on one day! My body just got outside and did it. I did my work as I walked. Glorious long meanders on the pathways hugging the shore. Sometimes a quick chat with a local, or a wave from afar. I walked the land from the North End (always my favorite) to the pebbled beaches of St Columba’s bay with its beautiful meditational Labyrinth (annual upkeep done with love by my same friend) as a reward after the trek. It is in this bay that you might catch a lucky glimpse of the Iona Marble or green Serpentine. I found myself watching sheep graze the “machair” golf course or merrily much on seaweed gazing out over the Atlantic en route to Port Ban, or heading up to the highest point, Dun-I.

 

#St Columba’s Bay – the pebbled beach to search for Iona Marble

Purple hues, electric greens and mesmerizing blues alongside dramatic greys. An artist’s dream palette. Spellbinding sunsets and days upon day of grey. Except that grey here is charcoal, black, white and silver – misty and wild. Not the soul-killing city-grey. Electrically alive grey!

 

Walking shifts the body and moves the soul. Padam Padam! Swimming cleanses the body and refreshes your mind – Great combo! There were so few people on the island as it was just starting to re-open post lockdown that I felt truly grateful to be here at this time.

 

Layered on top of the above practical aspects was the inner work. The real reason I was here after all. I was definitely not on “holiday” trying to escape post-lockdown with mum. So although I was in the most ridiculously splendid scenery possible, I was here to do my “close –out” work and heed the call for my personal pilgrimage. I had a crystal clear intention to plunge deep into my HEART.

 

H: Honour

E: Engage

A: Acknowledge

R: Recapitulate

T: Transform

 

I think of life unfolding in chapters and books. It felt like I needed to close out a few open chapters in a few different books.

In the Nagual tradition (check out Carlos Castaneda’s books) they talk about a process known as “Recapitulation”. I understand this to be a profound spiritual practice to retrieve all of your energy from the past – to help you live in this moment as a warrior of light. To be “at the ready” for whatever comes your way. To not be stuck in the past. Living lighter I guess.

You might understand this as a process commonly known as “cutting the ties that bind”. It is quite simply about finding all the aspects of yourself, your spirit, your energy, your memories that you may have left floating around the world and do some work at many levels to gather that energy back to yourself. In practical terms, this means being present, clear, at peace and un-hooked. It doesn’t mean you wish things hadn’t happened, but more that you are no longer controlled by them. You find a way to release that which is not yours and no longer serves you and wrap up all the good stuff in your heart. Very liberating. It is a long-standing practice in my life and one way I have been able to live a little lighter on the planet.

Everything we do, eat, touch, smell, experience, get hurt by, affected by, every place we visit, everything we love or hate – leaves a footprint. Stays connected to us. Some of that is good for us and some of it weighs us down. If you have ever read my CLEAR YOUR CLUTTER book, it’s all about releasing the sticky energetic connection from a place, person or object. Removing the dirt, the dross and the debris and then truly loving what you choose to keep in your home and life.

My aim was to actively look back at the last 17 years since becoming a professional life coach in the UK. That was the last time I visited Iona, so it was a full circle for me! In 2003 I went from Iona to chef in Provence, France for 3 months (yes even as a non-qualified chef!) and that summer job financed my coaching studies. I qualified as a Master Life Coach – and was one of the first Life Coaches in South Africa. I have had the most beautiful, BUSY career and business and now, in 2020, I wanted to do a massive honoring of that time.

 

Closure is about looking back with reflection, honor, openness and curiosity. Being willing to go deep into the cave, but not necessarily falling into a hole that is too hard to get out. It felt like a deeply profound way to cherish it all. It felt necessary yet somewhat daunting. But I was determined and resolute in my heart.

 

It was about RETRIEVING myself back to myself, finding all the parts of me that felt scattered, hurt, tired, depleted and heartbroken. I wanted to find a way to stop feeling so thin, torn apart, burnt out, irritated and with nothing to give anyone anymore. I had gotten to the point where I was feeling anxious and stressed about anything I was doing for work – suffering from performance anxiety, often depressed, tearful or downright sobbing, wanting to shut it all down and run away. I also wanted to go searching for and honoring the delights, the magic, and the incredible opportunities that have crossed my path. I guess it’s a bit like when an actor receives a lifetime award and everyone acknowledges what he or she has accomplished, only I came to do that for myself.

   

Because the truth is that I had started really questioning my ability, my self-worth, my passion. So it was time to stop, gather and sit IN IT and face it all head-on.

Even as I write this down, I know I am not doing full justice to my experience. I’m not sure words can convey the depth of my exploration – deep into my heart and recesses of my mind. Waking, sleeping, walking, swimming, resting, dreaming, walking over and over and over again with it all brimming and swirling through me. I would sit for hours in one spot staring at the ocean and just do “the process”.

I worked quite systematically in some ways through each year, from 2003 all the way up to 2020, gathering back all the threads of energy, pulling back my strength, increasing my vitality and expanding my heart. At the end of each cycle, I did some powerful writing processes to capture the essence of that time. I also re-looked areas of work over and above each year, to redo them and relook. I didn’t want to miss anything out.

Many years ago I created an “online course called Close Out Strong” which supports you to honor the year gone by in order to move in the New Year feeling lighter – well imagine that process times 17!

 

At the end of 12 days, I had brought myself up to present time. I had walked back and revisited every single:

Home and office de-cluttered
Clients coached
Retreats hosted
Mastermind facilitated
Workshops or trainings delivered
Online courses written and run
Interviews given and articles penned
Stood back on the stages of every talk I ever shared
Re-connected with each of my books written and movie I starred in
Every partner I had shared life with, but more emphasis on my recent relationship
Every home I have lived in
Every country visited

…and every single experience I could find for the past 17 years.

The highs and the lows!

Layer after layer after layer.

#layers of colour with grey

Stripping away the ‘krap’, the gunge, the lack, and the ego. Relishing in the delights. Pulling my energy back to me. Releasing what wasn’t mine back to where it came from. Release. Put the final full stop on that chapter. Close the book.

This process is hard, it’s deep and it requires courage. Are you being called to do it at this time in your life? Could you give it to yourself – the permission, space, the time, and let yourself do the work?

 

From day 4 onwards I started to feel awareness rise like sap in my veins. I felt inspiration, vitality and sparkle flood back through my cells.

 

If I can convey anything at all to you – it is the tangibility of the energy that I feel now. I am able to say with my head held high and my heart ticking strong, that I am so deeply in awe of what I have created, done, experienced and explored in my business and life. Because I hadn’t been feeling like that – I was feeling useless, bored, questioning what I had accomplished, wondering if I had made any real difference in the world, wondering what I had contributed. I had no real energy, no spark, no sustainable vitality and I had to muster up motivation rather than feel inspired. Whilst I wasn’t exactly ill, I felt like my spirit had become weary and heavy. Other than some aches and pain, old injuries, the coming and going of depression and menopause thrown into the mix, I was still reasonably healthy, resilient and strong. But not being ill is definitely not the same thing as being truly healthy, vitally alive, awake and in love with it all.

I felt zinging and pulsating again – I could hear differently. I had more energy again and was getting better sleep. I felt proud, alive, awake, accomplished, in awe. I also got the closure I was desperately seeking.

From work, my ex-life-partner, and South Africa.

My gigantic triangle.

 

EMBRACE THE GAP

On day 12, I released that my closure initial process was done. Now that the closure felt complete – I took myself off for a glass of crisp Sauvignon Blanc and a sandwich in the glorious sun, to watch the ferry boat come and go.

I was now facing the unknown of the gap.

The sitting

Waiting

Wondering

Exploring

Following threads as they appear

Still reading, swimming, walking, sleeping, eating, and do them over and over again.

Trying desperately not to fill the gap too soon. To not push forward. To not start mind mapping the future – as that is such an exciting process to engage with. It’s one I have helped 1000’s of clients do. But the trick was to wait. To be. To still NOT do.

 

I had glimpses of the elements of my work I still love. Writing. Retreats. Then a wee flicker of possibility somehow found its way into my heart – a tiny glimmering thread I am now following both literally and metaphorically. But not forcing or controlling it. Just being delighted by its welcome presence more than anything. My friend simply mentioned a local woman who does something extraordinary. The moment she mentioned it, my whole being resonated when the words came out of her mouth. I didn’t even know exactly what it was that this local did. I just loved the “sound” of it. My heart sat up and paid attention and I felt a little smitten by the idea of it. Weird? I had been seeking something creative to fall in love with – a hobby of sorts. It’s been all work and travel for so many years and I have wanted something to DO with my hands. Something to bring me to life again. I always feel envious of people with hobbies. Creative pursuits.

 

Sorry to leave you in the lurch here– but there is no more to say about it on this blog – we have been at this one long enough today. Are you really still here? I just know that something is unfolding inside me on the island that feels juicy and full of life. I’ll write about it next time – when I know more.

But for now, I embrace the GAP.
This space of being complete, closed out, full of awe and proud of it all.

Happy and content with the NO LONGER, but not yet knowing what will come in the NOT YET.

Not sure where “home” or nest will be.

Not sure what all the facets of work will look like. Being an author and running retreats are still sticking like glitter glue

Not sure who is going to come bounding into my life and heart

Sit here and be still, be patient Kate.

Just do what needs to be done for now. Today.

Stop trying to shift gears too soon.

Don’t start too many things as default from the old.

Don’t gloss over the gap.

 

“It is a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately filling up space.
Pema Chodron”

 

REACH OUT

I wish you well on your chosen journey! I’d honestly LOVE to hear from you as I emerge slowly back into the world again – pop a comment or drop me a mail. It might take me longer to reply as the connection is a bit dodgy on the island, and I am not spending much time “working”. Are you in this phase of needing to get closure and embrace the gap? It’s really hard, isn’t it? I do hope that if you stayed reading with me till the end, that you have taken away something from my experience that can support your journey. It was just really important for me to pen it.

You could also go and check out “THE STRATEGIC POWER OF DISCONNECTING”. It was written a while ago, and I’ll update it again soon, but it might help you along your path right now?

 

ABOUT KATE
As you gather from this post, Kate is busy re-jigging her life as she embraces the gap. She is an international, location free author who leads immersive and experiential retreats in her favorite power spots – ludicrously idyllic locations around the world. She has become intrigued by the notion of regularly taking time out to restore and rejuvenate the spirits and find that sense of joie de vivre. She still loves helping you to understand the power of slowing down and saying hello to yourself and your dreams! And it seems that being an author and running retreats are the pieces that will stick going forward.

#seaweed munching sheep

 

Thunder Rain … by Kate

By Insights to help you #quickshift, Transformational Journeys, Transformational thoughts

A poem inspired by an unexpected storm on my Greek island in the midst of summer. Being dragged out of bed by thundering noise suddenly brought these words tumbling out of me – and I have not written any form of “poetry” since 26 – almost half my life ago!

Thunder Rain

Rain cleansing broken hearts as dawn light appears
Water healing pain, buried not forgotten
Flowing through the lives
Of everyone deep in sorrow
Tumbling words in a gasping gush of water

Fumbling “I’m sorry” in a muddy pool
Wind curling ferociously around feathered leaves
Thunder beings crashing through the panes
Beckoning get up get up GET UP

As swallows take flight in bursts of energetic black
The tall sky keeps throwing off its cleansing cloak
Begging us
To wash away the stains, just for today

by Kate Emmerson

Poem inspired by gorgeous rain on a Greek island in the middle of summer. See my pic taken from my apartment

Kate Emmerson

Confessions of a location free maverick – it’s over!

By Insights to help you #quickshift, Transformational Journeys, Transformational thoughts

Confessions of a location free maverick – it’s over! How the Pretend Cat and the Pet Rock are changing the landscape of my life. I find it deeply ironic and bizarre how I can go from travelling the world with ridiculously minimal belongings (even minimal for miss LIVE LIGHT, LIVE LARGE over here) and living mostly out of a suitcase for the past 2.5 years … to buying Tupperware, water containers, dishcloths, coffee plunger, bins and gasp of all gasps, kitty food – because I suddenly find myself with a “pretend” cat and a huge pet rock! Neither of which will fit in my suitcase, which can mean only one thing – a little home again.

Chances are you might have some insight into my motto, my life work and how I have been gallivanting around the world to speak, run writing retreats, masterminds and work with the YPO? And laze on beaches of course! Yet with this lifestyle comes the highest of global highs and the lowest of lonely lows.

Every decision we make has consequences on all sides. There is really no such thing as a decision that doesn’t have pro’s and con’s. That’s delusional. It’s just about choosing the ones that you most prefer, that bring you more joy and meaning, isn’t it? It’s not that any decision is better than any other one. And decisions are never usually forever are they? We get to choose and re-decide further down the line, whether about how we think or what we own, to what we do in the world and where we live.

I have been living with the consequence of choosing to have no home for the recent past. It’s a feeling of deliriousness combined with displacement. Sometimes it is truly a joyful experience, easy to broadcast on Instagram pics, carefully curated into an authentic feed, or a hopefully motivational post and pics of exotic food whilst lounging by the sea. New spaces, places and delights at every corner. Yet it’s not ALL wild, laugh-inducing adventures and Pollyanna playtime.

It’s also the polar opposite – sometimes a scary, wide open world knowing no one, needing to constantly be wondering where the next pit stop is, can I convert enough ZAR into USD to survive a northern currency, where will my work call me to (from Lagos, to Dubai to San Francisco), other people’s reactions to being “homeless” when I say I am #locationfree. Yes, but where is your home, Kate?

I have personally found that whilst my senses are constantly being awoken and titivated, it’s simultaneously a tad grueling on my body and takes me longer to adjust to new surroundings to feel totally integrated. I have stayed in the best of 5* hotels, to revolting homes I housesat (that really should have been a three week, massively paid declutter job). I do find it easy to feel at home in someone else’s space, but have become way more susceptible to the energy of the house and how it impacts me. So it has been in short, the past 2.5 years have been a profoundly intriguing, enlightening time.

Being a #locationfree maverick naturally takes some toll on my committed relationship with ENP and yet also provides us both with space to really miss each other. Even when I do make Lesvos, the world renowned Lesbian pilgrimage island, (where the 10th muse and lyrical poetess Sappho was born), my destination of choice. He doesnt batt an eyelid- and that tells you everything about him! Friends delight in my pics, tales and gifts, but also beg to know when I’m coming “home” – I remind them I don’t call SA ‘HOME’ anymore. You know how when you speak to people in the UK (yes Mum, that’s you!) and they bleat on about the weather? Well, pretty much every time I speak to a dear friend they cannot help themselves but ask, “so when are you in SA again”? I have done my best to implore them to not say when are you coming “home”. Or even when are you BACK. Those words imply it will suck me back into its clutches, and SA honestly is no longer home. It’s a beautiful and complex place that for many decades was my home, where I still work and see ENP and my friends. I have awesome clients there and … it is simply no longer my home! I am being called north again, and have been for the past 4 years, ever since I first traveled to the USA. So, I typically say I am simply where I am right now and thank God for the likes of Skype, Whatsapp and Zoom.

At the start of this process of packing up my home in JHB, I always knew I would be location free for a year at least; then after a year had flown by I had no desire for it to be any different; my travel trajectory was as delicious and busy for the year ahead, so I just kept at it. Living with 90% of my belongings with me, three boxes in storage and traveling to places MOSTLY in summer or the shoulder spring and autumn to obliterate the need for huge bulky clothes.

But towards the end of last year, even though I am in a beautiful, committed relationship to a man who just adores and trusts me to live my life with no betrayal to us, and vice versa, I found myself feeling somewhat lonely (whilst meeting new people everyday), restless (whilst constantly moving), bored (even though I see and experience more in day that some do in a year) and just a tad unsettled (yet this was my very own choosing wasn’t it?)

The irony of this insight is never lost on me.

Enter a pretend cat and bit pet rock!

It is not about needing to be in ONE PLACE forever; I am not that type. I have gypsy energy in my very DNA, and love traveling just so much. But after not having anywhere other than my heart and body to call “home” for 2.5 years, I was starting to inch towards the idea of a little space I could “claim” as my own. ENP is unraveling his life in SA too, and these global swallows need a new nest/s.

I remember the day I was housesitting the most GLORIOUS home right on the San Francisco bay, in Pointe Richmond and having this feeling of being so blessed by the beautiful home I find myself in whilst I travel, but I suddenly had this overwhelming longing to have a space for me. A space where I might be able to leave a costume and a pen, maybe even my art. A space I could imprint myself on. It was a little bit of a surprise. It also took the natural transition of my 50th Birthday in April this year to shift me into this next phase. I needed to close out some big commitments before I had the space for this phase.

So the logical heartwarming place for my first little space in the northern hemisphere was Greece. I am even toying with the idea of buying a home, but am rather just putting my feelers out this year. Getting to understand the lay of the land. What is it like to have another little base and how does that impact my life and me again? And others around me? And so, in the gorgeous, remote and truly authentic Greek village called Skala Eressos that I have been visiting for the past 3 years (with writers on our retreats), a space where I have built a community and with one of the most beautiful beaches in all of Greece, I found myself negotiating a contract for a light airy apartment for a year. A year!

 

Confession #1: It IS totally glorious to say I have a place I can call home EVEN though I will also “rent” it out to visitors, friends and colleagues. I have the coolest pet rock (see below) – my nan used to paint rocks so this is highly divine for me – but yikes, it’s a biggun, and will never fit into a case, so I guess I am destined to stay a while. See pic of beautiful rock complete with my name! It all came about when I asked my landlady if she had any door stoppers, a huge grin erupted on her face and she said she had a rock half painted, and she would complete it for me. All my favourite colours, the coolest of flamingos and my names emblazoned across it, lest I forget where I am.

 

Confession #2: Having a kitty on my bed again makes me deeply joyful. When my beautiful landlady said yes I could claim her little apartment as mine, she said I was an angel for her, but the truth is she is an angel for me. Letting me love her kitty, bringing me oregano bouquets, painting me my very own pet rock as a doorstop so I don’t wake the whole village when I sneak out to write my morning pages on the verandah, lending me a bike, fixing stuff I ask to be fixed and just being delightful – along with FANTASTIC English.

 

Confession #3: I am startlingly amused by just how insanely fast I wanted to buy “STUFF” Not a lot of stuff, for sure, but it is still amusing. And I want my Nan’s hand-made patchwork quilt here on my bed – NEXT TRIP! Unless you are coming to visit and will bring it with? And how Mum gifted me the most exquisite handmade, olive wood TAVLI – Backgammon set! Oh, the joys of a little place for STUFF!

 

Confession #4: I am plotting my return here – my coming BACK HOME. I have already started inviting friends here, seeing as I never pulled it off for my 50th  earlier this year– 51 seems just as fabulous a time to gather on an island! Perhaps I can also entice my Mum to visit a second time with the pretend promise to eat more meals at home to stretch the budget.

 

Confession #5: I fell off my bike and swore like a trooper – because my sundress was hitched around my thighs and I got stuck as I hurled myself towards the pavement. It was a “boy” bike with a big crossbar and so as my huge, white sun hat flew off my head when going down the hill, I panicked and tried to slam on breaks to run after my hat before it picked up pace across the fields, never to be seen again. I just couldn’t extrapolate my legs and dress in time and got caught up in a heap. Tears welled, words flowed and I cannot tell you the relief after I had embarrassing walked my bike home with a bleeding toe and bruised ego, grease filled legs and finally turned the corner and saw “My home”.

 

Confession #6: Kitty food is now on my shopping list again. And I have a pet brush. Everyone laughed at me when I said I wanted one, but I found it in the Euro shop, and this kitty just LOVES being fussed over! Every now and then it feels like a betrayal to my beloved Stripey, but Nikos is my “pretend cat”. He is not really mine; I know that – just that we get to love each other furiously when I am here. When I told Ms. S that I was letting Nikos, the #gingersnap cat sleep on my bed, she nearly fell off her own feet. You are crazy Kate Emmerson. And yes I am, but when I walked home last night after devouring the most delicious “orange pie” oozing with syrup and a creamy cappuccino to wash it down, my heart did a little skip when I saw Nikos waiting for me at the end of the road – a bit out of his usual comfort zone. My Greek is shocking, so I speak to him in English, (other than a strong reprimand of OCHE when he wants to get agro) and we ambled off down the road side-by–side, ready for a little cuddle.

 

Confession #7: Yes. I miss you, ENP. Every day! But you are in Russia at the world cup with all your Argentinian lads, doing what you love to do, and that makes me happy! Enough said we will entwine again in a few weeks when in the same country again.

 

Confession #8: I deeply love that my office of choice, Gialos on the platea,  has exceptionally kind owners, friendly kitties and the most heavenly view on the planet! Along with great coffee, conversation and a way to observe this little village and all its folk – from Drug dealer, to prostitute to writers, foreigners who return year after year after and the  locals getting ready for thier work day. A great place for writers to simply sit and observe…

With love from me, to you, from Skala Eressos and my new “home” –  for now x

(And yes, I will be IN South Africa for August and September for work 🙂 )

 

Just because you can’t see it #Lessons from London

By Transformational Journeys

Just because you can’t see it over there…does it honestly mean it doesn’t really exist?

Or perhaps it could signify that simply, you cannot see it?

What if someone else annoyingly can?

What if someone perhaps a little closer to it can?

Or with a different, slightly skewed perspective on life?

A slightly different angle?

Or with different viewing equipment?

 

We often make something absolute, simply because we cannot see it for ourselves. How arrogant of us darn it!

And what if it’s simply a little mystical mist in the air begging you to walk closer to see what might be revealed as you inch closer? I beg you to stop expecting everything to be so bloomin’ obvious. Learn to follow your heart, your nose, your instinct, a smidgen of trust and a total delight in being. Simply insatiably and incurably curious.

Yes, insatiably, incurably curious.

I have a favourite, delicious past time that has been with me my whole life. Well since I was 8 little years old and flew on a plane on my own, unaccompanied. Yep, I’m an intrepid, gypsey-like traveller. Whilst I often travel with a partner, friends or am meeting clients in foreign countries for work, I also travel a lot on my own and REVEL in days I can spend meandering and musing on my own. Put me in a city, town or the middle of nowhere and I am simply happy to explore.

Meander slowly even if it looks like I’m walking fast.

I usually wake up, do some yoga at home (well let’s not pretend THAT happens every day, but mostly I do, to stretch the ol’ bones) then I make it a priority to find freshly brewed coffee…and then I’m off.

Where to?

If I have just two days in a city, most likely I will do the hop-on-hop-off tour bus, IF that exists there, to get a big picture perspective. BUT, I also find it a little stressful in terms of then trying to fit in EVERYTHING on that darn bus route and animated map glaring at me. Ugh. What I wholeheartedly love more is just to BE in a place. No agenda, definitely with no prescriptive-whilst-attempting-to-be-useful guidebook, and just a backpack filled with some weather appropriate protective gear (either sunscreen in summer or a brollie in winter) and GO.

Yep just go.

I let my heart dictate left or right, stop or go. I find true MAGIC that way. Being in the moment, letting the city talk and whisper it’s longings into my heart. Being present and free, awake and alert. Incurably curious about where a road may lead. Or not.

I had a two-week kitty and houseit in the heart of London recently, and had a lot of time to myself, but this day was special –  just meandering and mooching around on a cold day with gentle fog lurking everywhere. Mystical and magical, hiding things from view. I walked across a bridge for the very first time and in my heart I knew the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben were meant to be there, right in front of me. I took a picture. Really? Just some grey, swirly mist today!

What if I believe and keep going?

Sometimes we have to know the end picture, and just take ONE step in the direction of our destination. I really wanted a picture of Big Ben from the opposite side of Westminster Bridge, to send to my partner. Why? When we decorated his home in South Africa together after he had revamped it, I sourced him three special photographs to buy that were of three amazing bridges across the world, all in warm Sepia tones. Golden Gate, Brooklyn, and Westminster. At the time we were already booked to visit San Francisco, and naturally Golden Gate was one of the bridges we drove across twice – admiring the “international orange” colour of this renowned landmark. We then landed up bicycling across the Brooklyn New York one together – creating for me one of my all-time favourite NY memories. And so the London one is left for us. Whilst we have both seen it on our own, we have never seen or walked across it TOGETHER. I wanted to send him a pic to say …thinking of you darling and I cannot wait to come to this city together. But the bloody bridge was NOT there. Arrrrrgh

Walk

Walk

Walk

Huff

Puff

OOh look, a little cafe and some … mmm….yes they are birds I think

Trust

Walk

Huff

Puff and try to stay warm

Mmmm, what’s that?

It was getting cold, colder, coldest on this foggy and windy day, I had to stop and put a fourth layer on to stay warm – but as I took each step, I got one step closer and it all got a LITTLE clearer. Never crystal clear, but I eventually got to the spot to take my pic. BIG GRIN!

 

So you have stuck my story out to this point. So what??

Sometimes, you know something is there even when you can’t see it.

Trust your heart, your spirit and your 6th sense.

You don’t need maps, or guides.

Just walk, one foot in front of the other and let the path unfold in front of you.

So often we want to know it all before we set out. How boring.

Business is like that too.

You cannot know all the bits, all the answers, all the steps.

You know where you are and you know the next step.

That’s all you need, really.

 

Have fun walking the misty, foggy streets of your life as you take steps to make magic this year.

 

NEED SOME MORE HELP TO GET STARTED WITH THIS STUFF?

YOU CAN INSTANTLY IMPROVE YOUR LEVEL OF SELF-LOVE

Yup, RIGHT NOW!

I am so passionate about this concept of LIVING IN THE MOMENT and being in love with your real self (as in deeply proud of who you are and how you live your life) and for me it all starts with being HONEST.

The starting points is simply to TAKE STOCK in all 8 areas of life, so that you get clear on WHERE YOU are and what is and isn’t working for you.

I have created an entire video series – FREE of charge to support you to get started. Click here to  QUICK SHIFT 1 THING using the 4  G-SPOTS of TRANSFORMATION
If I can help you do that as smartly as possible, then you will have some starting points to let yourself meander and BE. And that is good for ALL of us. My mission is to help you SHIFT!

When you sign up, you will need to confirm your e-mail address, and get stuck into the first video with pen and paper. Then I will send you 2 more videos.

These 3 live videos will cover the 4 G spots of Transformation – Grips, Gap, Grow and Guts.

TAKING STOCK in all 8 areas will help you figure in which 1 area YOU need to shift immediately.

Then further down the line you will be invited to my other fabulous programme called The Cappuccino Challenge. Another surefire way to stay HONEST with YOURSELF. Courageous acts of self-love every day for 30 days. Loved by THOUSANDS of CLIENTS that have transformed their lives permanently in just 20 minutes a day  –  Just so you know what’s in store for you as you join my “tribe” ok?

LET’S GET YOU STARTED RIGHT AWAY

With lightness,

 

 

DITCH YOUR GLITCH

By Coaching Tips 'n Tools, Insights to help you #quickshift No Comments

There is nothing that makes me prouder than to offer up my second book DITCH YOUR GLITCH, published by Metz Press. Published 31st August 2015

A purposeful journey to face your “glitch”.
An honest process to step in, step up and step out.

Ditch your glitch is true to Kate’s well-loved style of being honest, authentic, inspirational and compassionate. Her unique process of step in, step up and step out into the world helps you shift gears exponentially to find a new
way forward to shine your light. It’s filled with snippets of her own fascinating life story and interwoven with success stories from brave clients who faced their glitch. This book takes you on a powerful yet practical journey to the self, through deep, inner exploration and transformation so that you can heed her call to live a life of magnificence.

  • Discover five glitches and identify what’s tripping you up
  • Follow 21 easy steps to get jiggy with your goals
  • Liberate yourself through the “potato” exercise
  • Take responsibility and finally stop the blame game
  • Ditch sabotaging self-limiting beliefs
  • Stop letting your fear be bigger than you
  • Set ballsy boundaries once and for all
  • Let go of emotional baggage to unleash energy
  • Boost your bucket before you kick the bucketAre you ready to ditch your glitch?

     IF YOU ARE IN SOUTH AFRICA -YOU CAN GRAB YOUR COPY HERE 

 REVIEWS FOR DITCH YOUR GLITCH FROM PEERS!

“If I choose to, then I want to,

If I want to, then I can,

If I can, then I must,

If I must, then I will!”

This mantra represents the essence of this amazing work. Kate has shared her innermost secrets and demons, and in her inimitable way shares her journey and the journey she has helped other people on, one stepping stone at a time. I was inspired, shocked, amused and privileged to read this book. Kate- you are an incredible human being and this book should next to everyone’s bed. Ditch your Glitch rocks! Helen Nicholson – Director of The Networking Company. Johannesburg.

Like a good friend who tells you hard truths, Kate takes you firmly by the hand and guides you on a challenging, life-changing journey. Bravely revealing her own story throughout, she gives you the courage to face your glitches and heal past hurts. Ditch Your Glitch gifts you with the take-charge tools you need to transform your life. Fiona Davern – Executive Editor at Destiny Magazine. South Africa

Written from such a heartfelt, truthful and sincere place, the result is nothing short of a miracle.  It’s a multicoloured roadmap to feeling lighter, more focused, action orientated and all the while being playful along the journey.  I particularly loved the potato exercise and found it fiercely challenging and such a relief when I could finally unload those pesky, heavy items and baggage.  Most of the glitches resonated with me, but the one that loomed large in my life is that of being a “Dreadful Dismisser”, not a good thing when one has chosen a creative profession where there is no such easy demarcators as right and wrong.  Valuing others opinions more than my own kept me stuck in a development cycle of wishy washy scripts until I read this book, committed to the self development work suggested in these pages and finally, courageously prioritised my own opinion and value.  I now have a script that I am proud of, that reflects my vision and the magic of the book, and am willing to stake a claim on my choices.  It’s not to say that other people’s opinion don’t count, it’s just that mine does too.  And it’s not to say that I have composed “Eroica” but I trust myself and my judgement to stand firm, head held up high and say, it’s my personal “Eroica”. Thank you Kate. Patrick Holzen – Film and TV Producer. London

“Sharing the details of a dark, hard past, Kate pulls back the curtain on all that holds us back…the secrets that keep us from a bright, happy life. Raw, revealing, and authentic, she shares her hard-earned insights on becoming honest with ourselves so that we can find genuine happiness and live large. I’m honored to help Kate bring her powerful message to the masses in the movie “The Secrets of the Keys” ~Robin Jay – Filmmaker (The Key Movies), Author. Las Vegas

Ditch your Glitch – my awakening – Kate Emmerson is a friend and mentor, an inspiration and her book “Ditch your Glitch” has allowed me to realize my Glitch, to identify with her story, to understand that I am not alone. This book is a revolutionary eye opener into where I am right now, what needs to be addressed, how to shift change and more importantly, how to ensure a continuity of growth. As an entrepreneur, I get so suffocated with my own rules, my own struggles, my own failure that I never for one minute realised that this in fact was my Glitch, the essence of what is holding me back. Kate, thank you – this is my beginning. Janine Starkey -Speaker and Designer for House of Janine. International Image Consultant. South Africa.

I have consumed many business and self-help books over the years. I was curious to see what new learning Kate would have for me in her new book, Ditch Your Glitch. Was I surprised when she went straight to my Glitch at the beginning of the book, describing it in finest detail. It made me pay attention to what followed. Kate uses old tools and new ones to shift a whole bunch of stuff in a very short time, if you follow her process. She shares hugely valuable exercises in an economical way. The potatoes blew me away. After reading the book I see potatoes everywhere. You must try her potatoes. My thinking shifted in the most powerful way. Forever. Thank you Kate for life changing learning, magical mind maps to plot my future with, and potatoes. Melanie Brummer – Entrepreneur www.facebook.com/melanie.brummer. South Africa

“The pages of Ditch Your Glitch hold a wisdom and energy that is hard to express. Kate’s authenticity complimented by her passion will help you create remarkable shifts. I have attended a self development growth club for a year and I find that Kate’s book encapsulates most of what I have learnt.” Celynn Erasmus – Professional Speaker, Registered Dietician, Author, Passionate Foodie. South Africa

In writing “Ditch Your Glitch”, Kate Emmerson takes you on a step-by-step process beyond your comfort zone to honestly face aspects of yourself and your life that you may not be comfortable with and to realise that success in your life starts with you. Committing to the 21 step process helps you to truthfully face those areas that need to be changed and gives you the confidence to start setting big, audacious goals to become the best version you can be of yourself. Success is achieved by taking small steps that bring you closer to your goals. The lessons learnt are captured daily in the journal you will purchase, allowing you to track your own progress and to recognise those special milestones. Kate shares her life lessons; she even says “I never offer up processes or ideas to clients if I have not tried and proved them for myself”. It is a comfort to know that you do not have to go on this experience on your own. Kate has developed a Facebook page that allows you to post updates on the progress you have made and those light-bulb moments that have resulted out of the process, and also to share the areas you may be struggling with and to get support and ideas from the group to push through these blockages.

We are privileged to be guided by such an authentic leader, who has lived the life she is inspiring us to live. This is not just a book of theory; these lessons have guided Kate to achieve the most wonderful things she has achieved in her life. Kate gently and firmly spurs you on to take bold steps through openly sharing her journey with the readers, making the lessons believable and achievable. I encourage you to read this book which will challenge you to get started on a whole new path to success and fulfilment with a renewed zest. I know that’s what it did for me. Colleen Larsen – CE: Business Engage South Africa

“Kate Emmerson has done it again! DITCH YOUR GLITCH encourages us to look deep into our core to find our magnificence. The only glitch is our glitches keep us from feeling magnificent and being our true self. Ms. Emmerson expertly guides us to ditch our glitch with easy to follow steps and enlightening examples. Kate bravely shares her own back story and exposes her glitches showing that she doesn’t just talk the talk, she walks the walk.” Carol Scibelli: Author of “Poor Widow Me” www.carolscibelli.com. New York.

Kate Emmerson’s “Ditch Your Glitch”, is witty, down to earth, personal, full of great reminders, and my favorite part is that her book embodies Kate’s spunk, spark, energy as a person and her same zeal for life.  “Ditch Your Glitch” is also open and honest which is so important for others to connect & relate as I, the reader did. Thanks for the journey Kate. Carly Alyssa Thorne –  Author, Speaker, Producer, Director www.CarlyAlyssaThorne.com Los Angeles

‘Kate Emmerson is the ‘Indiana Jones’ of shifting lives and always finds a way of turning something that is usually at the bottom of our To Do list (How the bleep do I stop being stuck in a rut?!)… into an adventure ( clearing away cobwebs, reading maps, finding treasure). Eventually we realise that what started out as an ordinary goal ends up being an extraordinary journey (.. with buried loot everywhere!). In ‘Ditch your Glitch’ we get the chance to find our very own ‘Holy Grail’ – come Home to Self, harness our power, and play with our magic. For someone like me who keeps tripping myself up on the “same ol’ same ol’” issues, I found the chapters on self limiting beliefs, top ten values and getting Balsy with Boundaries to contain many ‘Aha!’ moments and I am eager now to apply these to my everyday disciplines. I am also significantly impressed with how its possible to move towards forgiveness with the help of a sack of potatoes! ‘How to Ditch your Glitch’ is an honest easy to follow book which will give you honest easy to reap benefits …you just have to SHOW UP and commit to the adventure.’ Natasha Sutherland – Author, Actress and Motivational Speaker. South Africa.

Kate Emmmerson has so much passion for life, and she has shared it boldly in her book “Clear Your Clutter”, her YouTube videos, and now in her new book “Ditch Your Glitch”. I have yet to meet a person who hasn’t had a story, a struggle, some pain in their life.  Too many people try to pick themselves up, and try to move on…only to find themselves in the same or similar situation.  We’ve all had things that have snagged us in our lives, but few go through the effort to unsnag themselves….to look at what’s holding them back, and why. Kate Emmerson has done that in her own life, and has broken down the steps that got her past her own glitches and has written this wonderful book to help you “Ditch Your Glitch” as well.  The things that are holding you back from where you want your life to be.  Kate has beautifully blended her own personal experiences, her clients examples, and practical exercises that walk you through each step of the way, along with holding you accountable so you are gently pushed towards your goals that you have defined. If you’re ready to move forward in life, this book will help you do just that. Lori Park- Angel Intuitive, Chicago

“From beginning to the end this is a book that you won’t be able to put down!  It truly will help you shift your life and perspective.  There are so many great pieces of information that are shared in ‘Ditch My Glitch’ that will inspire you to take action today!  I found myself creating a new vision board for the 3rd and 4th quarter of the year in order to set my personal and professional life up for success for the year ahead.  Kate’s book will motivate you to be your very best self and will also help you to reach unlimited potential!”~ Beth Bracaglia – Chief Simplicity Officer of Simply Organized and creator of Beth Bracaglia’s Simply Inspired.   www.simplyorganizedtoday.com Ellicott City, MD

“I met Kate quite recently and was immediately captivated by her energy and stimulating conversation. This book is no different to the spirit she evokes in her conversations. The honesty and transparency of her personal story in the beginning illustrates the authentic nature of the content she shares in assisting you and I to truly transform our lives. Ditch Your Glitch is a meaningful and real step-by-step transformational work out that, if you remain true to your commitments, will bring about the desired changes in your life. I feel like I am thriving more than before I read this book. I have moved from mere existence to truly living. And you too can!”~ Alex Granger – CEO: The Possibility of YOU, Professional Speaker, and Author. JHB South Africa

I found Kate Emmerson’s Ditch Your Glitch to be a wonderful mix between The Artist’s Way and Jack Canfield’s – The Success Principles.  In it, she presents a practical step by step guide to creating personal transformation by understanding and addressing those things that are holding you, the reader, back from creating a better, more fulfilled life.  She doesn’t tell you how to do it – she shows you how to do it. By using her own personal journey as insightful examples, you feel as if she is there with you in this easy to follow, actionable, transformative and very readable book. Tessa Graham – Capturing Brilliance, Creating Brands, Building Businesses. South Africa.

From the start this was a truly inspiring book. It kept me wanting more and more and more each day although you said wait. Be patient.  This book is like money in that you always want to have it by your side. Through all my massive obstacles I managed to work through every single exercise in the book. What a challenge it was especially for me for –  someone suffering from depression, illness, health problems, financial problems  and life going nowhere. The most challenging exercise was the “potato” one. What a challenge to keep that bag of potatoes with me wherever I went. I was looked at strangely and funnily but luckily I never felt the need to explain myself. Only the closest people in my life knew about what I was up to. After day 4 I realised that I am carrying all this weight in my heart and on my shoulders. I started to write sms’es, make calls (the ones I could call) and although most of them hurt me I started the forgiving process. No need for thousands of rands at a psychologist etc. This book helped me finally get over my issues with forgiving which was the hardest part. How do you forgive someone … well I did it with Kate’s help and I feel lighter than ever (not in body weight yet) in mental weight.  I left those hurtful potatoes of my past scattered all over the field and it felt so good. I am now in control of my emotions and I will not allow people to use and abuse me anymore. Lighting my candle the next day and writing in my journal was actually the shortest paragraph  ever but filled the lightest feeling of relief . I have taken action on all the aspects of my life and it feel great. I have made my bucket list even though only a couple of things for now –  I will do them – maybe not tomorrow but I have set myself a time frame for this expanding list – I am taking everything step by step. I will buy this book for all my family members and my friends who I know will benefit from this.Thank you for this, Kate, it has changed my life and made it much easier doing everything step by step. This book it is a complete eye opener and I am deeply relieved about taking stock of my life and sorting everything out for myself and putting myself on my priority list for once. Yolanda Duvenhage, A brav woman and mum

IF YOU ARE IN SOUTH AFRICA -YOU CAN GRAB YOUR COPY HERE 

As soon as the e-book is available I will let you know!